tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-369635402024-03-12T18:00:07.275-07:00Tales from the GloopUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger98125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-53141137598128667192022-05-09T17:17:00.001-07:002022-05-09T17:24:22.574-07:00Top 5 Live Action Star Wars Character Meet-ups I want to see<p>The Disney+ Star Wars series have given us so so many amazing opportunities to see characters that have only ever been in the animated shows. We have also had the chance to see older live action characters like Boba Fett interact with new ones like Fennec Shand and the Mandalorian Din Djarin. But these worlds are so big and there are many characters who over the years have never had an opportunity to ever interact with each other. Maybe we will see some of these meet ups in <i>Mandalorian</i> season 3, <i>Ahsoka</i>, or the upcoming Cassian Andor show. For the sake of clarity, these are all characters who <i>could</i> canonically meet each other and I'm not cheating by using Force ghosts either because if I did Kylo Ren and ghost Anakin Skywalker would absolutely be on there (I could go on forever talking about how I think it should have been Anakin that talked to him not Han Solo in <i>Rise of Skywalker). </i>Anyway, all these meetings COULD and I would argue SHOULD happen either in a live action show or movie sometime in the future.</p><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">5. Din Djarin and Sabine Wren</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUvArWQ3pPQdoIx0tBpWbIHQbttDkUcfOQxU_NfR43SgMriHeLwhRlfIAAYUg0-zKUqvg1NUNsseaw9Ct3H_Jg3fiIwnEPBv1q0g0DbGixueugwFReVDQVD90wryZUD1lunH0vM2Qt5h-hdIxghjYhcko7kOucdHw0ayh09eqaSywYI9dc1f0/s1280/darksaber.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUvArWQ3pPQdoIx0tBpWbIHQbttDkUcfOQxU_NfR43SgMriHeLwhRlfIAAYUg0-zKUqvg1NUNsseaw9Ct3H_Jg3fiIwnEPBv1q0g0DbGixueugwFReVDQVD90wryZUD1lunH0vM2Qt5h-hdIxghjYhcko7kOucdHw0ayh09eqaSywYI9dc1f0/s320/darksaber.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Of all the pairings on this list, this is the one I think that is actually most likely to happen and happen pretty soon. Sabine, as fans of <i>Rebels</i> know, was a previous wielder of the Darksaber. She was taught to use it by Kanan Jarrus but then gave up the saber to Bo-Katan, whom she felt was the rightful person to lead Mandalore. As we know from <i>The Mandalorian</i>, because Bo-Katan never won the Darksaber in combat, she was not considered to true master of the saber in some kind of weird Elder Wand logic that had not been previously mentioned. Given that Sabine has been cast for <i>Ahsoka</i> (Natasha Liu Bordizzo) it seems pretty obvious that her meeting Din Djarin is going to happen pretty dang soon and that's gonna be pretty rad but since it is kind of a given I put it lower on the list. </div></div><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">4. Grogu and Yoda</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvmrfb9NflAOMGZHJsWfRbhAICUy78X0SpBvLUENpxvp_ke892dbrmAfvWgH-ARrFD9aoHwtZsK-pAx-BaMzUFyeyVffLame4wiIAzGmRwjYF6NKxvyiZYrb4tdOpZdUm0__D3IBXg4Nnj5di9JptcwFhZbyyz36ud1Y1ljfHz40AHUEOFioY/s1400/yoda.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="1400" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvmrfb9NflAOMGZHJsWfRbhAICUy78X0SpBvLUENpxvp_ke892dbrmAfvWgH-ARrFD9aoHwtZsK-pAx-BaMzUFyeyVffLame4wiIAzGmRwjYF6NKxvyiZYrb4tdOpZdUm0__D3IBXg4Nnj5di9JptcwFhZbyyz36ud1Y1ljfHz40AHUEOFioY/s320/yoda.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>Ever since Grogu first appeared on season one of <i>The Mandalorian,</i> he has been called "Baby Yoda." Whether he is truly Yoda's son or just a member of the same species, we know that the two of them lived on Coruscant at the same time prior to the fall of the Republic. When Luke was training Grogu he asked him point blank whether he remembered Yoda, but we have seen that Grogu's memories are a little spotty. Still, it is not outside the realm of possibility that we get some kind of flashback of Grogu's time before Order 66 where he was trained as a youngling. In fact, I would argue that Grogu unlocking some of his previous memories will only lead him to becoming even more powerful. Could it happen? Technically yes, but I am putting it low on the list because it seems like Frank Oz is pretty done being Yoda and I don't know if they would bring in Tom Kane (who voice Yoda in <i>The Clone Wars</i>) to do this in live action. An animated Grogu I think might be more likely. </p><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">3. Han Solo/ Lando Calrissian and Hondo Ohnaka </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOXF51H1e0eWrEgR-soqO0KmcYB70qwFE2IA0l1Q8wZYxqrxtkG--oxhEiDNBcZwkR7QMqGlny5NGi-6Tm3WTqjjA82Y3ON9waUJc4oK42_-kxtFfIsg1s4oYSMwr8o0MVCN949eXeos-jROqAViAQkrd2cBzZ-VqswQRUvtpA-9fUqTT5S6o/s1280/solo.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="699" data-original-width="1280" height="175" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOXF51H1e0eWrEgR-soqO0KmcYB70qwFE2IA0l1Q8wZYxqrxtkG--oxhEiDNBcZwkR7QMqGlny5NGi-6Tm3WTqjjA82Y3ON9waUJc4oK42_-kxtFfIsg1s4oYSMwr8o0MVCN949eXeos-jROqAViAQkrd2cBzZ-VqswQRUvtpA-9fUqTT5S6o/s320/solo.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>Hondo Ohnaka is one of those characters that is so fun in the animated shows, and even appears in the theme park on Smuggler's Run, but whom we have never seen in a live action show or movie. We actually got a canon meeting of Han and Hondo in a spinoff children's novel called <i>Pirate's Price</i> and some of the Star Wars Adventures comics, but that absolutely is not enough for me. I really want to see Alden Ehrenreich, Donald Glover and a live action version of Hondo in the rumored Lando series having all kinds of wacky hijinks. Will it happen? I don't know. The Lando show is one of those things that they keep talking about here and there but Donald Glover seems like a busy dude. Given the box office and general reception of <i>Solo</i> I'm just not sure if they want to play in the sandbox anymore. However IF the Lando show happens, then 10/10 Hondo needs to be a part of it. </p><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">2. Boba Fett and the Bad Batch/ Rex</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX8QMuykdm449F-f3TchoLjHtTx8p3cbqIlLq6KtobE2HVBD6MrxoCGiZDx2kIa6xsC7amd7ERlR2vYndY1b_dUYQZ5TyTOVs5OZ_qo_KPJTU72Oq3faDnIGS30LXFB3Hb5KZxmNzSjqkJ9hqqKzKhTzi0w-JO0LmM14tETGieUSPf5OpKc7o/s1400/bad%20batch.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="1400" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX8QMuykdm449F-f3TchoLjHtTx8p3cbqIlLq6KtobE2HVBD6MrxoCGiZDx2kIa6xsC7amd7ERlR2vYndY1b_dUYQZ5TyTOVs5OZ_qo_KPJTU72Oq3faDnIGS30LXFB3Hb5KZxmNzSjqkJ9hqqKzKhTzi0w-JO0LmM14tETGieUSPf5OpKc7o/s320/bad%20batch.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>I really really want to see Boba Fett interact with other clones, particularly as they are older and wiser now. We got a lot of animated young Boba/ clones stuff, but nothing in live action. Is Boba the only clone left after <i>Return of the Jedi? </i>As of this writing we don't know. There is a rumor that Rex may show up in the <i>Ahsoka</i> show which would be very cool. If he does, then it is not outside the realm of possibility that he could meet Boba Fett. And what about The Bad Batch? Do they survive beyond season 2 of their eponymous show? I want to see Temura Morrison going full <i>Orphan Black </i>acting against different older clones. I think it would be neat. If Dee Bradley Baker can do it, why not give Tem a shot. </p><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">1. Chopper and K2-SO</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiihtBSGPADbkDwzgGBqnBRY0wknsU0Sc8w8ZOiK_KgNskgaSTHBS-5car2PeetW8kd9lcQLZau6z5VrMWQFKEVZ15ytbyKZGZkTpeucQ-r9S1ImKZUZoWwRuAK0YlqS8T4iVwQQ3fs5-6HbDDDnZT271uQqdlx0KUxO09Ams77yPM6Xqfw5h4/s598/k2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="598" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiihtBSGPADbkDwzgGBqnBRY0wknsU0Sc8w8ZOiK_KgNskgaSTHBS-5car2PeetW8kd9lcQLZau6z5VrMWQFKEVZ15ytbyKZGZkTpeucQ-r9S1ImKZUZoWwRuAK0YlqS8T4iVwQQ3fs5-6HbDDDnZT271uQqdlx0KUxO09Ams77yPM6Xqfw5h4/s320/k2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p>My number 1 pick is actually the easiest one, the most logical one, and the one that is the most delightfully chaotic. Fans of Star Wars who listened closely to the scene on Yavin before the battle of Scarif in <i>Rogue One </i>may have noticed they announced "General Syndulla" on the intercom. This refers to Hera Syndulla, captain of the Ghost and mom to the droid Chopper, the most loveable war criminal in the Star Wars universe. That means that canonically Chopper and K2-SO were both on Yavin at the same time (along with R2D2 and C3PO). Who knows what kind of crazy adventures those droids got up to while their humans were off doing important meeting stuff. We do know that K2 sadly perished on Scarif, but given Cassian and Hera's roles in the rebellion it really makes a LOT of sense if a live action Hera shows up in the Cassian prequel show, which by extension means that K2-SO and Chopper have lots of opportunities to meet. We also know that Dave Filoni loves Chopper. Not only did he create the character, he voices him in <i>Rebels </i>as well. This lends me to believe that Chopper's appearance in a live action show is only a matter of time. While seeing Chopper (and by extension Hera) in the <i>Ahsoka</i> show or one of the others set post ROTJ would be fantastic as well, I am really hoping to see him interact with K2, creating the Wario/ Waluigi to R2 and 3PO of my dreams. Imagine it: just droid shade 24/7. Amazing. </p><p><br /></p><p>Are there any meet ups you want to see? Any you think I've missed the mark on? Let me know in the comments. </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-6672494098438694032022-05-02T16:47:00.004-07:002022-05-02T17:18:44.422-07:00Roll Me<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicXamByeM0aNNuAFqoPe_6wkUW5xCVrBXllnMx9XUzaxJGCEI7JDdxEfJ5BxgVDle6ub4hE8oAEIDOlo1BvZFcdlooNJmMwYx_SpBpPN-gTmlSBae3uqvINYnnOQksU3Hyoq-YrBwOMKP855gOyvcxqqYOXrhXEvNtmJZFjU3N9kzrLk_-jn8/s1920/rock.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1033" data-original-width="1920" height="172" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicXamByeM0aNNuAFqoPe_6wkUW5xCVrBXllnMx9XUzaxJGCEI7JDdxEfJ5BxgVDle6ub4hE8oAEIDOlo1BvZFcdlooNJmMwYx_SpBpPN-gTmlSBae3uqvINYnnOQksU3Hyoq-YrBwOMKP855gOyvcxqqYOXrhXEvNtmJZFjU3N9kzrLk_-jn8/s320/rock.png" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div>I haven't written anything in a very long time, but I want to start getting back into writing again even if I don't really have any regular posting schedule. At any rate, here is a story I wrote after asking my family for a prompt. My inspiration comes from both my cousin's suggestion (the mistyped lyrics to "All Star") and my new favorite movie <i>Everything Everywhere All of the Time</i>. Enjoy <br /><br /><br /><div>Somebody once told me the years are going to roll me. From my experience, that has been a crock of shit. It has been over ten years that I have been a rock atop this mountainside, and no amount of weathering or rain or time has moved me in the slightest. Ten years. Has it been ten years? Time has no real meaning for a boulder. I’ve seen at least 6 clutches of swallow eggs in the nest on the crag above me hatch and fly away. I think those swallows only lay once a year but who knows. Are they even swallows? <br /><br />I honestly think the lack of internet access or books has been the most difficult thing about this kind of un-life I have been un-living. You would think with all the beauty of nature that I could learn something but observation really only gets you so far from a scientific perspective. I can perform no experiments, no thorough research. All I can do is observe, all I can do is to be. What kind of rock even am I? I will be honest and say I never paid very much attention to geology. I don’t really know that a category of form really matters all that much in the end. I will say that my 360 degree field of awareness is rather intriguing. I observe the mountain and the valley and the sky and the dirt upon which I rest all at once and all the time. I have observed things grow and die. I can sense things crawling, sitting, or defecating upon my person, but feel neither cold nor heat, pain nor fear, and I am, as I have said, immovable. <br /><br />I read a book once about a situation like mine. A donkey fleeing a lion foolishly wishes himself to be a rock while holding a magic pebble. The pebble rolled away and it was only when his parents placed the rock on his back that he could wish himself back again. If only things were so simple for me. It started as a wish too, of course. Of course it did. It always starts with a wish. You would think with all the movies I’d seen, all the books that I’d read, that I would have known that wishes were dangerous. But I couldn’t have known that it wasn’t enough for me not to wish on the wrong kind of stone, not to make wishes of genies or monkey paws or women in the woods. I needed to be fearful too of those who would make wishes about me. <br /><br />If you asked him, I’m sure he would say that I stole his heart. “Eventually women will always steal your heart,” he would say. I suppose from his point of view he was entitled to turn me into a rock for all the harm I had done him, then. Nevermind my feelings on the matter, nevermind my point of view, nevermind my intent. Nevermind that NOBODY DESERVES TO BE A FUCKING ROCK, MICHAEL. Men are dangerous, my mother always said, powerful men more so than others. I knew he was a powerful man, but I didn’t know he was capital P powerful until it was really too late to do anything about it. In a world of science and facts and books, nobody ever suspects things like magic can be real. I mean, I had always hoped it was. Don’t you always have a little hope that things are a little magical, a little more than the mundane? Whether it was aliens or fairies or wizards or elves, since I was a girl I imagined that something MORE existed in this world and that something beautiful and powerful and meaningful would happen to me. Perhaps I would be tasked with a great quest in a kingdom in a wardrobe or told that I was the heir to a magical treasure. Being turned into a god damned rock was not on the list, but really beggars can’t be choosers I suppose. <br /><br /><br /><br />For want of anything better to do, I have spent the past few years pondering the nature of magic and what it means for its existence in the world. Surely there are others who have some measure of magical ability besides my ex boyfriend. Surely there must be some kind of authority or oversight committee or council of elders or whatnot who would frown upon people being turned into rocks willy nilly, you would imagine. There were times I dreamed a passing owl was really another wizard in animal form and he would recognize me as not being an actual rock. He would turn me back to the human woman I was, whisk me away to a castle where we would reveal all of Michael’s crimes to some very aged old man, maybe Merlin himself, and he would be stripped of his power and I dunno… also turned into a rock. Fuck it, I’m not very creative. Some days I still hold out hope that such a thing is possible. Other days I feel that this rock life, this un-life, is all I will know until whatever self still exists has devolved into madness. If other magic people do exist in this world, as I am certain they must, then they are obviously as incompetent as any other people in power. <br /><br />It’s funny but in the beginning I didn’t even mind so much. I know that’s a strange thing to say. But the truth is, in the very very beginning there was of course the terrible fear and the anger and the confusion, but that later led to a kind of peace and happiness. I have no need to eat so I don’t need to buy or hunt for and cook food. I have no need for shelter so I don’t have an apartment to constantly clean. Nobody perceives me so I don’t need to make my body look a certain way. I don’t have a job I need to go to every day, so my time and my mind are entirely my own. The lack of responsibility, lack of societal expectations and rules was an intoxicating freedom for the first several years. For a long while I thought I might be able to learn astral projection or be able to attain nirvana through meditation, but, alas, I suppose I am no Buddha. <br /><br />Still, I find myself in meditation most of the day, thinking on the nature of existence in a way maybe no one in history has before. Perhaps if I ever return to my human self I will be able to impart a kind of wisdom that people will find profound, but I dunno. If there is a god I haven’t found him. If magic is for something more than causing harm I haven’t seen it. If being this rock means something more than just the outcome of a petty man’s rage then I haven’t discovered it. The self is a collection of thoughts. I think, therefore I am. Real original stuff. I would write a book if Descartes didn’t get there first. Who knows, maybe he was also a rock.<br /><br />Long ago, a lone hiker stopped and rested on me. This isn’t a particularly well trod trail I am on so visitors are few and far between. He was the first person I had seen in many years and I surprised myself with how excited I was to see him. This was at the time of my confinement when I was certain the key to happiness was to eliminate all attachment and believe my rock self to be superior to the human I had once been. It was a coping mechanism, I later realized. A way to deny my own profound sadness. The real truth was that I missed being a human and being around other humans desperately. I luxuriated in the sensation of the man’s backside on my rocky surface with a kind of ecstasy that you could have called sexual if you could attribute such feelings to a rock. The man, thinking himself alone, began to mutter to himself about this and that as he sat and ate a bag of trail mix. <br /><br />“This fucking trail is too damn steep, he began. <br /><br />He was an older man, which surprised me. Mid 70s with a wiry muscular frame. <br /><br />“I can’t be doing trails like this anymore, I don’t think,” he said, “The years have caught up with me. I could have fallen back there and then what?” <br /><br />For a while he just sat there on me looking off into the distance. But as he rose he gave me a little pat, <br /><br />“Years are gonna roll you too someday I’d wager.” <br /><br />I always wonder if maybe he knew I wasn’t just a rock. I don’t think I’ll ever know. <br /><br /><br />I sometimes wonder what would happen if I did roll down this mountainside. If the rock self breaks into pieces would I have awareness of all the parts? Could I exist in different places? There is this forest I heard about called Pando that is all the same tree. Like it's just clones of all the same tree, a whole forest of one. Were my rock body to be broken into a million different pieces would whatever exists of my soul be in all of them? Or would I die? Can I die? Ashes to ashes, dust to dust and all that. Would I just be dust in the end, then? Would my consciousness become the whole world? If there is a heaven, would I go to the heaven for people? Would I have gone to heaven anyway? My parents were in their 70s when I left them. Maybe Mother died today. Or was it yesterday? Maybe if I die I will see them again. Or maybe they will never know their only daughter is lost to them forever, dust on the wind.<br /><br />I think if I really tried I could do it. Roll, I mean. It isn’t as though I’ve never tried to move before, but I wonder if I really exerted all my influence on one task, if I really focused all of my energy, I could will myself to roll. Maybe what was holding me back before was the fear of rolling, the fear of not knowing, the fear of death. I don’t… I don’t know if I fear death anymore. I don’t know that I exactly welcome it, either. I don’t know if you could properly call me suicidal, but 10 years as a rock has made me… apathetic I guess. Well, no, that isn’t exactly true. It’s made me curious, or at the very least it hasn’t taken away my curiosity. Maybe I’ve learned as much as I can in this form and whatever comes next whether it is millions of pebble selves or death or even just getting stuck slightly lower on the mountain it would be something NEW. I think I’m ready for it. There are no wizards coming to save me, there are no magic spells. There is just me and this mountain and my own force of will. I will. I will? I WILL. Ok… I will. I will. I will I will I will. I…<br /><br />I am.. I am? I am?? Ok I am. I am actually rolling. What the fuck? Ok. This is a very odd sensation. Obviously I have no inner ear so I have no experience of dizziness from that perspective but the sensation of moving around and around is incredibly disorienting. I can kind of perceive the bottom. It’s getting closer. Fuck maybe this wasn’t a good idea. I don’t know. God dammit, I don't know anything. Maybe this was not the smartest plan. No. Stop it. Stop second guessing. I willed this. I did this. I have my own magic and this is my magic I made myself move. I am in control of my own destiny. I know myself. I am me. I am a rock and I am me and I am not a rock and I am not me but I know myself. Whatever happens I did this. Whatever happens I took control of my own future. I’m getting closer to the bottom. Fuck fuck fuck. Ok. Here we go. Here we go. This is it…<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />After several moments of darkness I realize that… I could still realize. That wherever I am, whatever I am, I still have some perception of self which is very good. Ok. Self. Thinking. Descartes. Awesome. It is dark. Why is it dark? I started rolling during the day, was it night time? No, it is still hot outside. It couldn't be night. Wait. Hot. It was hot. I was feeling that it was hot. I can sense the temperature of the air. The air. The air I was breathing? I am breathing. I take a deep breath. I have breath. I have lungs. What else do I have? The darkness. Hesitantly I open my eyes. My eyes. My eyes, my eyes, my eyes. And I see. I can see. And with my eyes I can see my hands and my legs and my self. MY SELF. Me. I’m me. I’m fucking me??? I’m… I start to cry. I cry and I cry and I cry. Then I run under a tree because its fucking hot and I realize belatedly that I’m naked. But I’m me. I have life. And I have purpose. And he will pay.<br /><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-43848983217479266642019-08-25T04:19:00.000-07:002019-08-26T19:30:51.114-07:00Top 5 favorite Aquaman moments <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #454545;"><span style="font-size: 23px;"><br /></span></span>So the truth is I am writing this at 3:30am after another horrible night's sleep. I haven’t been sleeping well. I’ve been waking up with headaches or too hot or having to pee or some other issue lately. It’s probably all tied to anxiety but shit who ISN'T anxious these days? How do you fix a condition that isn’t just in your head? No idea. One of my continual frustrations is my lack of close friends. I have friends with whom I feel I COULD become very close but I don’t have any ride or die, this person is like a sibling to me, I tell them everything, they will randomly stop at my house when I text them I am sad kind of friends. I don’t have any friends I have finished a carton of ice cream with. I haven’t had that kind of closeness in a long long time. So it goes.<br />
<span style="color: #454545;"><span style="font-size: 30.6667px;"><br /></span></span>I feel like the potential is there but at 37 years old everybody has already decided who their best friends are and somehow I missed distribution day. That’s fine, I’ve made my peace with it. I am grateful I have such a loving and wonderful husband because he is really my best friend other than my parents and sibling I guess. Unlike my ex, I can be completely emotionally vulnerable with him without judgement and as a result our relationship is incredibly close and supportive. We just have this bad habit of not really socializing all that much so we end up getting high and watching TV together which I have to say isn’t the worst way to spend the evening without kids with the person you love most in the world. Last night I had the bright idea for us to play 5 Grand Prix of Mario Kart as well which was pretty brilliant of me because we are so evenly matched (he did end up winning 3-2, though). After that we watched <i>Aquaman</i> on HBOGo again which was also my idea because Aquaman is a perfect fucking stupid movie. It really is. It isn’t a great movie, it is a stupid fucking movie. But a perfect stupid movie and for that I truly love it.<br />
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<span style="color: #454545;">Sooooo after much rambling preamble here are the top 5 moments from the 2018 film </span><i style="font-family: ".sfuidisplay";">Aquaman</i></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: ".sfuidisplay";"> 1. The part where he is training with Vulpix (yeah I know that’s a Pokemon, whatever the Willem Defoe character is named) when he is a kid and he flops out of the water like a dolphin. This moment is so absurd that I wait in anticipation for it eagerly. It is literally like that merman scene in Zoolander. Just perfection</span><br />
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: "sfuidisplay";"><br /></span><span style="color: #454545;"><br /></span>2. That part when he is battling OCEAN MASTER (DUN DUNNNNN) for the first time (side note I love how it goes DUN DUNNNNN every time someone says OCEAN MASTER) and before they begin, an octopus plays the drums like in Little Mermaid. Like this whole scene is insane, including but not limited to the fact that they show their “stats” on a display screen for the audience like this is a WWE match and Arthur has no pros only cons, but the octopus playing the drums just really tips this over the edge for me in its absurdity bc it is literally exactly like little mermaid and that is fucking hilarious.</div>
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3. When he finally gets the trident and rides on the back of a giant seahorse while holding the trident because it looks just like the comics and it is so silly and perfect. I mean all the riding on sea horses and shark scenes are amazing but when he stands on the back of that sea horse it is just like ::chefs kiss:: this is Aquaman, ya know? </div>
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<span style="color: #454545;"><br /></span>4. Mary Poppins, the Kracken. Or whatever the fuck that eldritch monstrosity was supposed to be. That Pacific Rim looking crab squid that was inexplicably voiced by Julie Andrews. How did they get Julie Andrews to voice a giant crab monster? Now John Rhys Davies voiced one of the regular crab people and THAT is perfectly logical because like dude is just leaning into his Brian Blessedness and that is definitely a career choice I respect, but Julie Andrews??? Wow. </div>
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<span style="color: #454545;"><br /></span>5. Oooh picking a 5 is actually really hard. I nearly went with Randall Park as crazed Atlantean obsessed science dude, but in the end I have to go with the very end of the movie where Atlanna and Jango Fett get to fuck again. The thing I like about Atlanna and Jango Fett fucking is that it is so rare you get a happy ending like that, ya know? BOTH parents get to live! This is a really sweet thing given how parents are usually fridged in superhero movies. Good for you Jango Fett. You get that sea pussy. Sidebar, but do Atlanteans get their period bc that would be weird in the ocean. Presumably their reproductive system is similar to ours because they can interbreed with surface people. Lot of questions. I’m also assuming they are all just peeing in the ocean while they are battling, ya? They just pee right there? I mean what else do they do just like swim away to pee? Wouldn’t the pee just float back? Nah they have to just pee right there. Anyway, hurray for happy endings. Everyone gets to fuck. Even the crab people and the fish people who I am going to assume, as they evolved from humans (they said this happened in the movie though how they evolved into fish people so quickly is beyond me) that they all have penises like in shape of water how his dick is hiding. Hooray for fish people sex. Everyone get some.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-43985144478572219582019-06-19T16:19:00.000-07:002019-06-19T16:23:40.835-07:00Being AmericanMy ancestors came to this country from Russia and the greater Eastern European region between the end of the 19th century and the beginning of the 20th. They were all Jews. I did a Family Tree DNA test a few years ago that came back 97% Jew. Yep. I'm a Jew. Jew, Jew Jewy Jew. The other 3% was probably some Russian dude who raped my 4x great grandmother or something, who knows. We are new to America. New, being a relative term. Certainly, there are immigrants who came to this country in the later part of the 20th century and the 21st, but we came recently enough that important pieces of our cultural identity, of Eastern European Jewry, still permeates our everyday lives. Those are my people. American Jews. I guess for the longest time I operated under the assumption that most white people were like me when it came to their American-ness, that their ancestry was REALLY English or Irish or Italian or Polish. I thought that "white" was a category invented to deprive people of their ancestral culture under the guise of white supremacy and the devaluation of people of color, that most people could and SHOULD say what they were culturally instead of just identifying as white in an effort to dismantle an artificially created racial dichotomy.<br />
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Doing my husband's genealogy made me confront the fact that some people defy such easy categorization. One branch of my husband's family came from France to settle Canada in the 1640s. Another branch was British and settled the Massachusetts Bay colony, one even coming aboard the Mayflower. Another branch was Dutch, settling New Amsterdam in the 1660s. Another branch of his family were Spanish rancheros in old California, the oldest one I have found born in Mexico in the 1740s. Another branch was German, settling the Germantown, Pennsylvania area in the early 1700s. The more "recent" branches settled from Ireland in the late 1840s and from Germany in the 1850s. His family has been in California before it was a state. His family has been in America/ North America since before there was an America, several of them fighting in the Revolutionary War. In fact, some even fought in the French and Indian Wars (On both sides of that conflict). In many, many ways I am jealous of all the history. Jealous for the ability to know the names of ancestors, to see them written in books, that Wikipedia articles are written about them, that someone in his family has fought in every single war this nation has ever fought. It is a gift to have so much knowledge.<br />
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I know my people were Russian Jews. That will probably be all that I will ever know. Any distant cousins I may have had in the old country were invariably killed by pogroms or in the Holocaust. Maybe I am descended from some great Jewish thinker, though probably I am just from tailors and farmers who lived humble lives in the ghettos they were forced to live in. My culture is the culture of Ashkenazi New York in the early 20th century. Recent immigrants to this country have the shared knowledge, culture, pride and cuisine of their homelands, even if they don't know the names of their great grandfathers. Black Americans descended from slaves will never know from which African tribe or country their people were from, but they share a beautiful and rich American Black culture that is unique and distinguished from more recent immigrants from Africa. Indigenous descended people may have been removed from their cultures by force in some cases, but many can make the conscious decision to reconnect with their tribal Nations now if they so choose.<br />
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And yet I have heard my husband say that he guesses he's "just a big European mutt." It is a gift to have so much knowledge about your ancestry, far far more than most people I know, more than the descendants of slaves who will never know their real names, more than the nameless indigenous people who were slaughtered in the name of conquest, but what does it really mean that your 10x great grandfather on your father's mother's side was some British lord if it doesn't bring any kind of sense of identity or belonging? When I thought about it at first, I found that concept profoundly odd in ways I couldn't quite put my finger on, and it made me sad.<br />
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People talk a lot about America as a nation of immigrants, though such a designation ignores both involuntarily transported slaves and indigenous peoples. But I think it is also not quite accurate in other ways. All white people came from somewhere else to be sure, but when their people came from that somewhere else so long ago, long beyond living memory, how are they to think of themselves as anything else other than "American," whatever that term is supposed to mean, other than white? The rah rah America attitude displayed by a lot of people on the right I think is indicative that a lot of people latch onto whiteness when they lack any other strong cultural upbringing. Thankfully, my husband doesn't have any of those inclinations, though there are certainly members of his family who do. It isn't that I don't blame them, I think blame when it comes to white supremacist thinking is a really complicated topic but that ultimately regardless of upbringing people are responsible for their own behavior, but I do understand a bit better now how, lacking anything else to bind them to each other, some people choose whiteness. The melting pot has melted away everything else. <br />
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America is such a beautiful mixture of so many different kinds of people, like my husband is. We need to find a way to uplift a concept of American culture that is not dependent on a known cultural background, which I think is how the language was used in the past, while also including those for whom cultural pride is everything. Nobody should be asked to give up what makes them uniquely from their cultural group, but at the same time, those without an established culture should be able to say their heritage is "American" in a way that is more inclusive, positive, responsible, and aware of its history than is currently common.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-31157254430009787862019-05-15T09:03:00.000-07:002019-05-15T09:03:30.432-07:00What Comes NextI was going to write this in the style of one of my imaginary conversations, but elected to forgo the pretense. Here's an old fashioned blog entry. <br />
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For the past two years I have felt a growing dread about our future as a democracy. I have had people try to tell me that it isn't as bad as all that. I've had my father say that he "lived through Nixon" and "this is just another terrible thing that will pass." I've had people on the right laugh at me openly about my concerns. I have listened to and read the words of people of color who have spoken to the racism they experienced their entire lives and their frustration with white people who are just now figuring out how fucked things are because we see it on social media. They aren't wrong. Maybe none of them are wrong. Well except the right wing assholes. They can get fucked. I dunno. <br />
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All I know is what I know and what I feel. Here's what I know. What I know is that the other day I saw somebody on Twitter sharing the tips their grandfather used when they were in the Resistance fighting the Gestapo. And this list had lots of detailed points on what people in the Resistance did, what everyday people can do can muck up the works of a totalitarian government. What I know is that somebody else who grew up in another totalitarian government shared their experiences and what they did to survive it. What I know is that I took notes. What I feel is that whether history repeats itself exactly or just creates a new spin on an old theme, things are happening now that ARE different from other things that have happened in the past 36 years of my life. What I feel is that all of it: the anger over police brutality, the spread of social media, the crackdown in immigration, the oppression of minorities and people of color, the rise in mass shootings, the racist rhetoric on the right, the wealth inequality in this nation, the loss of jobs oversees due to tariff wars, and global warming, among a host of other issues that are happening all at once are leading to something...bad. I don't know what the bad thing will be. I don't know if the bad thing will be another terrorist attack. I don't know if the bad thing will be a civil war. I don't know if the bad thing will be nuclear annihilation. I don't know if the bad thing will be a Fourth Reich. I feel, deep in my soul, that whatever it is will be the end of America as we know it.<br />
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I don't know when the thing will happen. I don't think this is a next year thing. But it feels like something major. Like something WW3 major. Like something Napoleon major. Like something French Revolution major. Like something cataclysmic. I talk to my friends about this and it is shocking to me the number of people who are also in agreement that yeah we are basically fucked. I have a few friends who remain optimistic about 2020, but I just can't. I used to think that as soon as Mueller finished his report then it would be all over and this nightmare would be done and we could go back to how it was. Lol look how that went. I realized there is no going back. I don't even know if there is going forward. I really and truly don't know that if Trump loses the 2020 election he won't just declare the election illegitimate and make himself dictator for life. I really, really don't. Even those more optimistic people have trouble coming up with concrete answers to my questions. I<br />
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The other day I was reading an article about disinformation campaigns and how bots were creating whole image composites of people in their efforts to sow discord and those images looked so real that I think I failed this test to spot who was the fake. So like robots are posing as people to influence our democracy and spread hate and are we living in a fucking movie right now because if you say it like that it is legitimately insane. Do we even need Terminator if we die by a thousand cuts? Or warm our earth so much that our crops will start dying? Apparently the administration is investing a lot into space now. Of course they are. Because the rich will gtfo this planet before it dies. That's why they don't care about the rest of us.<br />
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I'm tired. I'm trying to live a normal life and plan my wedding and help the kids with homework and go to Trader Joes and still live in this sense of utter and complete bewilderment whether the life I see as normal will be what life will be like 20 years from now. I mean, I knew there would be changes, technological changes. But just seeing how fast things have changed from the 90s to now makes me really wonder what 2040 will look like, whether anything will be recognizable at all. I wish I had a time machine not to go into the past but to go into the future just to check to make sure we were still okay. Just a peek. Then I could come back. SOME kind of reassurance that we, and by we I mean this nation and the vast majority of people in it, will be alright. I guess nothing is ever that easy. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-25496777957596809042019-02-27T14:14:00.000-08:002019-02-27T14:22:32.700-08:00Done with Seuss<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="dvm8b" data-offset-key="7hngg-0-0" style="background-color: white;">
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<span data-offset-key="7hngg-0-0"><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">So Dr. Seuss' birthday is coming up and I am frequently asked to read at schools for this occasion. I have very conflicted feelings about Dr. Seuss. On the one hand, his books were among the first I remember reading, in particular </span></span><i style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit; white-space: pre-wrap;">A to Z</i><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"> and </span></span><i style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hop on Pop</i><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">. On the other, his books often contain racist </span></span><span style="color: #1d2129;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">characterizations,</span></span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"> the "Chinaman" in </span></span><i style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit; white-space: pre-wrap;">And to Think that I Saw It On Mulberry Street, </i><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">for example, and his art from the WW2 period was extremely racist as well. </span></span></span><span data-offset-key="7hngg-0-0" style="color: #1d2129; white-space: pre-wrap;">Seuss himself said that his story <i>Horton Hears a Who</i> was dedicated to a Japanese man, </span><span style="color: #414141; white-space: normal;">Mitsugi Nakamura, as a way of atoning for his past misdeeds and racism, but I'm not sure that allegorical storytelling is sufficient to make up for the real harm inflicted upon Japanese Americans because of his racist art. </span><span data-offset-key="7hngg-0-0" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit; white-space: pre-wrap;">On top of this is the issue of Cat in the Hat and how he, as well as other classic cartoon characters of the period, exhibit all the tropes of minstrelsy. More information on this can </span><span data-offset-key="7hngg-0-0" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit; white-space: pre-wrap;">be found <a href="https://www.slj.com/?detailStory=cat-hat-racist-read-across-america-shifts-away-dr-seuss-toward-diverse-books">here</a>. </span><span style="color: #414141; font-family: inherit; white-space: normal;"> </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit; white-space: pre-wrap;">For this reason I have not decorated my library for Dr. Seuss' birthday or otherwise celebrated it the past two years. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">A lot of people push back against this notion of not reading Dr. Seuss or not watching some old movies because they believe that the racism in them was typical of the time and thus should be excused away. There is this notion that things in the past, things one has grown with as a child are somehow sacred and should always be the canon, should always be taught to the next generation. "Oh its just X what's the big deal?" they say with a shrug. Why? Why do people feel the need to defend things that don't need defending? I love sharing <i>Star Wars</i> and <i>Princess Bride</i> with my daughter, but I don't feel the need to read her <i>Little House on the Prairie </i>because how incredibly racist it is to Native and Black people. I don't know if you are aware of this, but more books have been written since you were in school. I hate to break it to you, but your childhood favorites aren't inherently better because they were loved by you when you were children. </span>Why must we prop up Dr. Seuss over any other author, over authors of color, over women, over people whose characters have not be blasted all over lunchboxes for the past 50 years? <span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span data-offset-key="3a12b-0-0">When I was asked by a school to read today, I did so but with a caveat: I asked if I could read another book from the library. Instead of reading a Dr. Seuss book, I read <i>Wild About Books</i> by Judy Sierra and Marc Brown about a librarian who opens a library in a zoo. It is a fun rhyming story in the style of Dr. Seuss and even mentions Dr. Seuss among the books the animals at the zoo read. I read to three classes today: 3rd grade, 4th grade, and 5th grade. All of them are older than the typical audience for Dr. Seuss anyway which makes me wonder why this holiday is being celebrated in their classes in the first place. With the younger two classes I simply said "I don't have a Dr. Seuss book today, but this is another fun story that has a lot of great rhyming words." Then I came to the 5th grade class. </span></span>These are 10 and 11 year old kids. <span style="font-family: inherit;">A sea of brown faces: the school is about 90% Latinx. I said, "Hey, so I don't have a Dr. Seuss book today. </span> A lot of older Dr. Seuss works are, frankly, kinda racist. I kind of have mixed feelings about Dr. Seuss because I grew up with him but I thought I would share <span style="font-family: inherit;">this other fun book instead. If you like silly rhymes I encourage all of you to write! One thing Dr. Seuss was great at was making up a lot of crazy words. Maybe you can try it." It was the first time I think I was that blunt with a group of kids. I wondered why that was.</span></div>
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If we are going to create a new generation of kids who embrace diversity, who understands the role that race plays in our daily lives, who deconstructs old notions of gender, then we have to do some real work. Some of that work requires us to let go of the things we used to love and accept that, yeah, maybe that mammy in those Bugs Bunny cartoons was pretty gross, and maybe the crows in Dumbo were pretty gross, and maybe all those books we read as a kid with monkeys as main characters looked like blackface caricatures. For many white people, it is hard to acknowledge one's own racial biases, especially when you perceive yourself as an otherwise liberal person. So you voted for Obama and you hate Trump and you are against the wall. Great! So why when people of color or Native people are telling you that the old books or movies you like are hurtful to them do you push back? Is it simply that you are willing to be a "good" person when it is easy and not when it requires you to make any kind of substantive changes to your thinking? I am trying to do better. It is hard. It takes work. But if my fellow white educators, parents, and librarians put in the same amount of work what a wonderful world we could live in. A world where an author of color rolls off the tongue as quickly to every school child as Dr. Seuss' does. </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-1344111983078118342019-02-25T15:48:00.002-08:002019-02-25T17:30:39.109-08:00NothingI've often wondered if part of my problem making friends is that I just can't commit to having a "thing." People with "things" always seem to have friends, or really they have many acquaintances that might develop into friends, but that's much the same thing isn't it? If you are super into biking you meet cycling friends. If you are super into music you meet musician friends. If you are super into D&D you meet D&D friends, or at least have the few people you regularly play with at any rate. If you are into goth you meet goth people, into cosplay you meet cosplay people. Shit people super into furries and stuff could probably meet other furry people more easily than I can make friends. This is not to say that I don't like things or even that I am not passionate about things. I think if you took a random sampling of people I know they would all acknowledge that I know about and like Star Wars and Game of Thrones and other sci fi and fantasy stuff. But I don't write fan fiction, I don't care enough about Marvel movies to make long YouTube videos speculating what will happen next. I don't care enough about books to even regularly write book reviews just to meet other book people. When I enjoy something, I enjoy it, and sometimes I will gush on Twitter or Facebook but I just don't have this identity I think that is defined by things I do or like. Lots of people online talk about their "brand." I don't really know what mine is. I don't think I ever really have. The other day I met a dude who has 47K Instagram followers because he has some internet famous cat. I don't even like my cats enough to devote the time and energy it would take to actually be a "cat" person. Who am I even?<br />
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This isn't a new phenomenon for me. When I was a kid I was the same way. I liked to act when I was little but never "got into" theater in high school to the point where all my friends were theater friends. I was in choir but wasn't really a "choir person." I listened to some alternative music but never committed fully to an alternative or goth aesthetic because it just seemed kind of silly to me. I remember once in 9th grade wearing black to school on the day I was going to be seeing Smashing Pumpkins in concert. A few people called me a poser. An attempt was made. The truth is, I just never <i>got</i> having "things." How could you limit yourself to only liking one genre of music? How could you dress yourself to conform to an arbitrary identity defined by others? I <i>was</i> a poser because I just never really got it, I never really got any of it. I've never liked something so much that my identity or "brand" is built around it. Shit even now as an adult, I really love people with cool colors of hair but the time and money taken to maintain just feels like more performative unnecessary bullshit to me. I am Jewish but I'm not like one of these SUPER involved in the temple or Israeli dancing Jews. I'm political, but I'm not really an active member in organizations. I'm a librarian but I'm not involved in ALA. I just don't have it in me. I just... don't really DO "things."<br />
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I think the closest I have come to "branding" myself is the fact that I usually walk around with an R2D2 purse which is basically my minimal effort attempt at nerd social signalling that I, too, like the space wars. Other than that... I dunno. I think a lot of my struggle in life has come from this notion that I am <i>supposed </i>to have a "thing."What if not having a "thing" is ok, though? What if just being kind of interested in a lot of stuff and not really being a stan for any one thing exclusively and not really doing stuff all the time is ok? What <i>do </i>I really need out of life that I am not currently getting? Why get jealous of other people's lives when I<i> don't</i> really want what they have? I get so stuck on what I <i>should </i>be doing that I get down on myself. I see other people's busyness and question my own slothfulness when the truth is I am much happier not doing than doing the vast majority of the time?<br />
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The past few years of my life I have come to know myself better than I did when I was younger. What I've realized is that the energy I spent trying to fit in was kind of pointless. The difference now is that I have a partner I really and truly enjoy doing "nothing" with. "Nothing" is sometimes my favorite part of the day! Doing things makes me tired. That's ok. It is ok to acknowledge that brief interludes of social activity can be followed by periods of inactivity. It is ok to acknowledge that I work in a public facing job, am surrounded by people all day, talk to people all day, enjoy talking to people in the capacity of my job, or talking to friends, or talking to my kids or my fiance, but that making socially awkward chit chat is unappealing, and in my spare time can spend hours saying nothing to anybody and really enjoy it quite well thank you very much.<br />
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I made a goal for myself to be more social this year, to actually reach out to people and attempt to hang out with them. But I've realized I can do that without a "thing." Maybe just hanging out is ok. Maybe I'm alright the way I am. Or maybe I'm not. That's ok too. I just need to be honest with myself. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-45842384604807294732018-04-30T15:33:00.000-07:002018-04-30T15:37:26.858-07:00Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your STOOOORYYY: Infinity War Wrap Up<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DXcVU0PyItE/WueRhu-1aeI/AAAAAAABFgs/2vaBFBEyRk0i2eWIC9q2J7VIBXsNtQlCgCLcBGAs/s1600/thanos.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="439" data-original-width="780" height="180" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DXcVU0PyItE/WueRhu-1aeI/AAAAAAABFgs/2vaBFBEyRk0i2eWIC9q2J7VIBXsNtQlCgCLcBGAs/s320/thanos.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS<br />
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WHY ARE YOU READING THIS IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS</div>
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SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY</div>
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DUH SPOILERS</div>
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LIKE SERIOUSLY COME ON NOW</div>
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AT THIS POINT YOU ONLY HAVE YOURSELF TO BLAME</div>
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I AM DOING THE BEST I CAN DAMMIT</div>
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Ok, hello there. If you are here, then you have either already seen Infinity War or you don't care about spoilers. I don't know why you are here if you haven't seen the movie, but ya know what? I won't judge your life decisions. In my last <a href="https://talesfromthegloop.blogspot.com/2018/04/who-dies-my-infinity-war-predictions.html">post</a>, I predicted the following characters would/ could possibly die in Infinity War:</div>
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Black Widow</div>
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Captain America</div>
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Gamora</div>
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Nebula</div>
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Drax</div>
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Iron Man</div>
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Loki</div>
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Vision</div>
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So who actually died?</div>
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Heimdall - I had completely forgotten to mention Heimdall in my last post, but I actually figured he might die on the ship. I did predict that Valkyrie would show up in a brief appearance guiding at least some of the Asgardians to safety, but that did not happen. I still think that Valkyrie and possibly Korg are still alive until proven otherwise</div>
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Loki - Yep, I figured this would happen and he died pretty much as I assumed he would. Rest in peace you beautiful, horrible jerk. </div>
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Gamora - Did not die as I expected her to, and actually in a much more dramatic and emotional way than I expected her to, but I did expect that her ties to Thanos made her a target. I was genuinely surprised that Nebula did not also die in this film. </div>
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Vision - As I predicted, Vision died when Thanos took his stone, despite Scarlet Witch's attempts to save him. Will he remain dead is a question for the next movie. I believe Shuri imaged his brain before he died so that she could resurrect him in some capacity. If anybody could it is her. She is the smartest person in the MCU.</div>
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That's it. The other characters who "died" in the film are: Spider-Man, Black Panther, Bucky, Black Panther, Dr. Strange, Scarlet Witch, Star Lord, Groot, Drax, and Mantis (and Maria Hill and Nick Fury in the stinger at the end). I put "died" in quotation marks because it is pretty clear that Thanos' snap which killed half the universe's population in one swoop is going to be undone. </div>
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A lot of people were very emotional at the end of the movie because of so much loss, but for me... I dunno. As soon as they killed Spider-Man who is headlining his own sequel in a year I knew that these deaths weren't permanent. This is a common trope in comics, but didn't work quite so well for me in a movie. It was impactful but not in the way, say, a death like Tony Stark's would have been. In fact, when Tony got stabbed and nearly died my audience reacted much more strongly then the deaths of everybody all at once at the end, which left many people walking by me on the way out just saying "what the fuck?" I'm not saying it wasn't necessary to the storytelling or will make the next movie really interesting, but, as an example, Guardians of the Galaxy 2 spent 10 minutes on Yondu's funeral only to have literally all the Guardians except Nebula and Rocket just die in a poof? That just kind of hurt. </div>
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The rest of the movie was absolutely spectacular. I LOVED all the pairings of the characters, in particular Thor+Peter and Thor+Rocket. I loved the Tony/ Strange/ Spider-Man dynamic too. The movie even made me like Scarlet Witch and Black Widow which I thought would be impossible. Pairing Natasha with Okoye was a good idea. The writing was really fantastic and pulled together a lot of different threads very well. There were 5 different plots/ locations at times and I didn't feel lost or that they were doing too much. It definitely counted on you remembering certain details from previous movies, particularly Guardians, Thor, and Doctor Strange, but that is to be expected. What was definitely NOT expected was how little Captain America was in this movie. Really interesting how somebody like Rocket ended up with more lines in the movie than some of the original Avengers. It was WAY more of a space movie than the trailers let on. I think that was for the best. It brought the humor and tone of Ragnarok and Guardians to the rest of the Avengers and everybody benefited. So many hilarious lines. </div>
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I absolutely can't wait for the next movie and I can only hope that it retains at least some of the humor, though with everybody "dead" I know it probably won't be as much of a laugh riot as this one was. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-86327495071273171012018-04-05T15:09:00.002-07:002018-04-05T15:16:21.709-07:00Who Dies? My Infinity War Predictions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7Z-8XgdPfj4/WsaejQWlzTI/AAAAAAABFdA/cd8V7mZvb8MzQGmeJ5GOH_cNMMSEIszkQCLcBGAs/s1600/Avengers-Infinity-War-SDCC-Banner-cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1600" height="160" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7Z-8XgdPfj4/WsaejQWlzTI/AAAAAAABFdA/cd8V7mZvb8MzQGmeJ5GOH_cNMMSEIszkQCLcBGAs/s320/Avengers-Infinity-War-SDCC-Banner-cropped.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Hey all! So Avengers: Infinity War is coming out in just a few weeks and according to the Russos, there are going to be some of our favorite characters who don't make it out of the film alive. How many? Who will live and who will die? Here is an alphabetic breakdown of who's who in the MCU and my predictions on how they will fare against Thanos. Now my guesses are not based on comics, simply based on what I know about the films, the actors, etc. The MCU really is its own beast. Trying to predict what happens based on the Infinity War comics is pretty pointless as there are SO many narrative differences.<br />
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A<br />
Ant Man - Given that Ant Man and Wasp come out this summer it is safe to say that Ant Man lives. Heck, I don't even know if he is in this movie much/ at all. His skill set doesn't really lend itself to intergalactic battles, but he could probably shrink down and scuttle away from any danger imho. <br />
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Black Panther - Lives. I'm gonna go ahead and jump right out and say that Shuri and Okoye live too. There is no real logical reason why they would live against Thanos, but their movie was so super popular that I seriously doubt Marvel wants to get rid of them. I think we are going to lose at least a few Wakandans though, maybe even audience favorite M'Baku. He was a stand out in the Black Panther movie, but his death will raise the stakes. Listen, Ragnarok killed off all the Warriors Three. T'Challa has to lose at least one partner.<br />
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Black Widow - I strongly suspect Natasha will bite it this movie. There is literally nothing about her skill set that screams "useful" in this fight. She had a part to play in Civil War and definitely Winter Soldier but in every other fight she is just been pretty ineffectual. The only way I can see her living is if she realizes this battle is too big for her and just gets out of dodge (see my entry about Hawkeye below)<br />
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Bucky - Lives. I think Bucky will either take up the mantle of Captain America (see entry below) or will go on to become the White Wolf of Wakanda. I would personally rather see him in the latter role as his chemistry with Shuri was really strong (not in a romantic way, just in a fun playful way) and I think it would be nice to see them interacting more.<br />
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Captain America - Sorry Steve, but you and your sexy butt are gonna die. This has been pretty <br />
heavily telegraphed for a very long time. Who will take up the shield after he falls is up to debate, but Cap is not long for this world. It is time to move on to different things.<br />
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Captain Marvel - Not a question of whether she dies but if whether she shows up. I think they have to do some kind of appearance even though Avengers 4 is where she is really going to shine after her solo film. Possibly just a post credits sequence appearance, though<br />
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Doctor Strange - Lives. I think Strange has a lot more to do in the MCU and his magical skill set will keep him pretty safe in this fight. Wong may die though, unfortunately.<br />
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Falcon - I think Sam will deffo make it out alive. Will he become Captain America after Steve dies? I think yes, though Bucky is a more popular choice.<br />
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Guardians of the Galaxy - I do think that some of the Guardians might die in this film, though not the entire team since they are going to be making a 3rd Guardians movie. Rocket and Groot are safe, Groot especially since he just died. Gamora and Nebula are definitely questionable though, particularly due to their ties to Thanos. I think Nebula of the two is the most likely to die since her redemption arc is basically completed (see also Loki below). Mantis is too new a character to die so unceremoniously. Drax is an iffy for me. He thinks he is stronger than he is, which lends me to believe he will do something stupid. After all the big emotional beats from Guardians 2 I think Star Lord is pretty safe, though he doesn't have the abilities he had in that film anymore now that Ego's planet is destroyed.<br />
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Hawkeye - Hawkeye doesn't even get a character poster for this movie. He isn't in ANY of the marketing of the movie. Poor Hawkeye can't catch a break. For me, this is actually good news because it means that I think he is going to live. In Age of Ultron Hawkeye basically said he was retiring and going to live on his farm up state. While he came back for Civil War I strongly suspect he might just sit this whole fight out or get out of there when he realizes he is out of his depth. If not he will die pretty quickly, though the indignity of dying without even getting a hero poster is pretty sad. I really want them to bring on Kate Bishop as Hawkeye and have him as a mentor figure. This would be a good way to intro Young Avengers.<br />
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Hulk - I think it is a safe bet that Hulk makes it out of this movie ok. He is one of the strongest characters in the MCU. Less certain is Bruce Banner. In Ragnarok, Bruce says that if he turns to Hulk another time he worries he won't be able to come back. Given that Mark Ruffalo's contract is over, I suspect this is what is going to happen. Hulk will remain in Hulk form and they can bring on somebody new to do the mocap for him. Maybe at a later date he will go back to Bruce for a while, but it won't be Mark doing it.<br />
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Iron Man - I thought he was going to die in Civil War, though given his mentorship of Spider-Man I'm glad he didn't. Still, I feel like he has worn out his usefulness as a character and given the events of the previous films he just doesn't have a place in the new version of the Avengers that will emerge from this film. Obviously i could be wrong, but I don't want to be. I'm over Tony. Plus RDJ is getting on in years. He can't play Iron Man forever. Once his bro Mark Ruffalo is gone as Bruce and only Hulk remains, Tony won't have any "grown ups" to talk to either. I think he's gonna go.<br />
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Loki - Loki is gonna die. As with Nebula, Loki's journey from bad to good back to bad and back to good again is pretty much done. I think he will actually sacrifice himself this time, giving him the heroic ending that he imagined for himself from Dark World (and Matt Damon). Without an Asgard to fight over, I don't know that his character has anything left to do in the MCU. I also think Tom Hiddleston is done with the character and longing to do something else.<br />
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Nebula (see Guardians of the Galaxy above)<br />
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Scarlet Witch - I think she makes it, though her character in the MCU is soooo boring. Still, I have a strong suspicion that they are going to do things with her and Vision's kids Wiccan and Speed and they need her to live for that to happen. <br />
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Spider-Man - Lives. Peter Parker has a nice long career ahead of him before they decide to bring in Miles Morales.<br />
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Thor - This is a SUPER iffy one for me. The trailers put him in a pretty precarious situation, but I think he is a strong enough character to make it out of this alive. I am pretty sure Loki will sacrifice himself (and that Tessaract) in order to save him somehow.<br />
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Valkyrie - Valkyrie doesn't have a character poster for this movie, which lends me to believe that she may only be in it for the briefest of appearances to get some of the Asgardians away somehow. Hopefully that means Korg will live too, though the trailers make it look like Thanos kills quite a few people on board that ship.<br />
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Vision - His entire self is powered by an Infinity Stone so once that is taken away I don't see how he makes it out alive. But like I mentioned with Scarlet Witch, I think his living and having kids with Scarlet Witch is necessary to create the new generation of superheroes.<br />
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W<br />
War Machine - After NEARLY dying in Civil War I think Rhodes is going to make it out of this film alive. To kill him now would be like an afterthought and I don't think they are going to do that.<br />
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So there you have my predictions. I will be checking back in after the movie comes out to see how right or wrong I may be.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-25688477264668893332018-03-12T14:04:00.001-07:002018-03-12T19:14:14.111-07:00A Millennial Memento MoriWhen I was 16, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold shot up Columbine High School. A fear grew in me then, a fear I had never experienced before, that at any moment something like that could happen to me. The fear lingered in the back of my brain, its tentacles burying itself deep into my subconscious. But time went on. School rolled along. I had other things to think about. The fear was still there, though. Always.<br />
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I turned 17 that summer. By then all anyone could talk about was how the world was going to end on Y2K. I didn't believe it, not really, but as December 31st drew nearer there was a very small part in the back of my brain that thought "maybe." It was a small part, a silly part, and it went away as January 1st turned into January 2nd and on and on. But it was a concept, wasn't it. Not just that I could die but that everything could die, that the world could end. It's a complicated thought for someone who is 17. We had learned about global warming in school. I had heard about the ice caps melting, about the hole in the ozone layer. I would remember that as the years went on. Maybe the Earth was going to die.<br />
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I was 18 when I campaigned and voted for Al Gore. He lost. I was worried about my rights as a woman, I was worried about Bush destroying our country, I was worried about the environment. It felt like the end of the world. It wasn't. But I was confused. What did it mean that Gore won the popular vote but didn't become president? What kind of country was this anyway? Nothing seemed fair or right or as it should be. I was afraid. I was angry.<br />
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I was 19 on 9/11. That felt like the end of the world. It wasn't, but it felt like it was for a while. A new fear grew in me then, a fear that terrorists could bomb us at any moment, that the world was changing into something new, something scary, something I didn't understand. The fear grew. That fall I decided to lose my virginity. Why then? Because I was horny, because I was young. All those things are true. But the other part, the secret part, thought "What if it all ends?" Would I have waited if 9/11 never happened? I can honestly say I don't know. That day burned into me a sense of restless urgency, a need to do something quickly before it all went away. As the years of war rolled on, as I grew accustomed to taking off my shoes at the airport, the fear dulled into something familiar. I didn't live every day as if it were my last, but neither did I think all that long and hard about the future.<br />
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The years passed and there were more shootings, more terrorist attacks, more bullshit. When Obama became president things felt differently but this fear of the end never really quite went away. The Earth was still dying. Global warming wasn't getting any better. People kept killing people and nothing felt as safe and normal as it did when I was younger, in that time before I felt the fear. Maybe that was part of growing older. Maybe everyone looks back on their childhood as a time of hope and safety and normalcy and their adulthood as a time of fear and uncertainty. Or maybe it was the relentlessness of a neverending war, neverending hate, cable news. I remember a time, long ago, when we wouldn't know anything until the 6 o'clock news. And we would be anxious then, worried. But the worry would end when the news did, and Jeopardy would come on and then the prime time shows. You would go through your day and the horrible things would be out of mind until you saw it in those 30 minute increments. Can you remember? It is hard to sometimes. <br />
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I was 31 when my husband asked for a divorce. That felt like the end of the world. It wasn't. In fact it was the best thing that had happened to me in a long time in the long run. But it reminded me that nothing is permanent. It reminded me that at any moment it could all go away. <br />
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I was 34 when Trump was elected. It felt like the end of the world. Maybe it will be. I don't know yet. It was the worst I had felt since 9/11. Every day since has been a struggle, every day since the fear of the end grows stronger in the back of my mind. Las Vegas, Florida, so many dead. Our democracy at risk, our climate warming, my community on fire, floods destroying the highway, the doomsday clock ticking closer, Nazis, police brutality, pain, murder, death, disease.<br />
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Certainly those who grew up in the Cold War felt the world could end too. The people who lived through World War II, who lived through World War I, who lived through the Russian Revolution, the Civil War, Napoleon thought that everything they knew could come to an end. Was it any different? Is this just what being in the world feels like? But maybe this feeling is something that is unique to my generation, a generation who came of age at the dawn of the Millennium. I think back, from time to time, to those three years 1999-2001 that seemed to define me, to define my generation. I think something happened. I think something broke. I don't exactly know what.<br />
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I'm not anxious all the time, not in the same way I was when I was in my late teens and early 20s and went on medication. A lot of people of my generation are on medication. A lot of people of my generation are anxious. I don't think its a coincidence. I am stronger and feel more confident about myself and my relationship with my boyfriend than I ever did when I was younger and unhappily married. I am happier now than I've been since my teens. And yet... And yet. One part of my brain thinks about my daughter 10 years from now, 20. I think about her growing up and going to college and discovering who she is. And then another part, the fearful part, the part that grew on my brain on an April day nearly 20 years ago and has only swollen since wonders whether hers will be the next school on the news, whether the future will even look anything remotely like the world now, whether we will even have country to live in, whether the Earth will have been warmed so much that our summers are intolerable, certain foods unable to grow.<br />
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I wish I could rationalize away my fear of the apocalyptic. I wish I could tell myself that this too shall pass. I wish I could remind myself that even in the time of Ragnarok, at the end of the world, the Norse believed there was a renewal, a rebirth, a new start. I wish I could tell myself that its just anxiety trying to control me. Then Trump makes jokes about nukes. The ice caps are still melting. The rich hoard their impossible amounts of wealth and children go hungry. People are getting angrier. It feels like eventually people are going to break. Revolution? Death? What happens? Maybe just another day. Those are just thoughts. Not new ones.<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nhqenBsb4Yk/WqbncCXa0eI/AAAAAAABFZg/HHiDIS_hyi8nuwQkKKr8jYrCTclKCcAPwCLcBGAs/s1600/vanitas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="948" height="200" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nhqenBsb4Yk/WqbncCXa0eI/AAAAAAABFZg/HHiDIS_hyi8nuwQkKKr8jYrCTclKCcAPwCLcBGAs/s200/vanitas.jpg" width="185" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cornelis Norbertus Gysbrechts<br />
<i style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #7f7f7f; font-family: "Neue Helvetica W01", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 1px;">Vanitas Still Life</i><span style="background-color: white; color: #7f7f7f; font-family: "neue helvetica w01" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 1px;"> (c. 17th century)</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The Dutch masters created vanitas still life paintings, reminders that all things are transient, that all things must die. It was an art form not made from fear of death but acceptance of it. How can you see friends and family die of plague, die so young, and not accept that death comes for us all? We are a generation who has been forced to adapt. We may have started our school years with no computers at all and ended them with internet. We never had a phone, not even a pager, then we got phones and computers and smart phones and tablets. One day there is a popular thing the next thing you know "that is so last year." Then there is a meme and it is so last month, last week. Constantly adapting, constantly changing, constantly having to change. Everything is transient. Everything dies. Sometimes I wonder if our morbid jokes about eating tide pods or "This is Fine" memes amount to much the same thing as Baroque skull drawings. Perhaps we are a generation so inured to death that we have almost resigned ourselves to it. So accustomed to constant change that changes almost mean nothing. Another person shot, another day. This is horrible, but we are joking it isn't. So it goes. Here is something different. Here is something new. <span style="font-family: inherit;">Our Millennial Memento Mori looks like the schizophrenic nature of the online world:</span><br />
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<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">A puppy<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Someone's food<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">A dead body<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">A penguin wearing a sweater<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Someone's children<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Hate speech<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">A hot actor<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">A baby otter<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">A child covered in blood</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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In the Japanese tradition of <i>mono no aware</i> the beauty of a thing is defined by its ephemeral nature, by its impermanence. Perhaps the path away from nihilism is an embrace of the fragile nature of our existence without fear, by seeing the beauty in the fallen leaf and not its tragedy. Yet we have been asked to change so much, become so accustomed to change, that I think sometimes it is hard for us to remember that things can be different. Sometimes it takes an external force to remind us who became jaded so quickly by all the horrors that we should not treat it as normal. ICE isn't normal, its only 15 years old. School shootings aren't normal, we were shocked by them just a few years ago. War isn't normal. We didn't used to always be at war. It is possible to recognize that death and impermanence are a natural part of life and also NOT accept that we must die at the whims of those in power, NOT accept that horrors are inevitable, but it is hard balance to find. It is that balance I am always striving for, for my sanity more than anything else. I haven't found it yet.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-65194467197088192632017-12-16T11:01:00.000-08:002018-04-05T19:13:20.036-07:00Star Wars: The Last Jedi - A Film for 2017SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY<br />
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<br /></div>
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SPOILERS</div>
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JUST IN CASE THE PREVIEW STILL SHOWS THIS SPOILERS ALSO</div>
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This is not going to be a comprehensive review of <i>Star Wars: The Last Jedi, </i>though I have a lot of thoughts and a lot of emotions about the film. Rather this post is about a very specific feeling I got walking out of <i>The Last Jedi</i> that made me realize the film was perfect for this specific time and place in a way I have not seen in a major blockbuster since <i>Captain America: The Winter Soldier.</i> There was no specific moment like in <i>Revenge of the Sith</i> where the current political situation was referenced so specifically (Anakin's "If you're not with me, then you're my enemy" echoing Bush's "You are with us or you are with the terrorists," for example) but its message is one that is decidedly political and timely. </div>
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The history of the Star Wars cinematic universe is one that has asked us to rely on singular hero figures, namely Skywalkers, whose actions determine the course and fate of the universe. If the prequels are to believed it was Anakin's turn to the dark side that caused the Empire to rise. If only he had chosen another path things would be different, he could have defeated the Emperor. If the original trilogy is to believed, it is Luke's destiny to defeat the Empire by destroying the Emperor and redeeming his father. The fate of the galaxy, then, rests on the shoulders of individuals. <i>The Force Awakens</i> doesn't shy away from this premise. We need to find this map so we can find Luke. We need Luke because without him we fail. Rey is a Jedi and she needs to train with Luke so that she can continue the legacy. Maybe Rey is his daughter or niece or Obi Wan's daughter who needs to continue the tradition of singular heroes saving the galaxy. We need to destroy this one thing, this Death Star, this Starkiller Base, so that we can save everyone. </div>
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<i>The Last Jedi </i>is fundamentally different in its premise and ideology. In many ways it shares more of its DNA with <i>Rogue One</i>, a story about an anonymous band of rebels who sacrifice themselves for the greater good. Their sacrifice did not destroy the Empire. They stole the plans for the first Death Star. That was all. Their sacrifice didn't magically upend the political order of the galaxy, it was simply one part in an ongoing war against Imperial aggression. Did their sacrifice matter? Of course it did. But given its context, the film forced us to see that even one action doesn't solve a greater problem. In <i>Return of the Jedi</i> Emperor Palpatine dies. Snoke apparently replaces him. Who is Snoke? Does it matter? He was the next guy. He was Pence. He was the one who came along. The truth is there will always be another to come along. Snoke dies and Kylo Ren replaces him. If Kylo Ren died, Hux would take over. The Empire and the First Order both are not dependent on the mythology of a singular leader. Theirs is a vision of domination and control and power. If you look at the indignant expression on Hux's face when Kylo takes control it is clear that were it not for Kylo's Force abilities he would be out of the First Order entirely, and that certainly doesn't mean that the First Order would be gone. In fact Ben Solo's pathological obsession with both Rey and his family's legacy is often the <i>cause </i>of the First Order's failures. He is a liability, not a strength. I'm sure Hux would have been happy if Luke dispatched him on the sands of Crait. And galactic domination would go on. <i>The Last Jedi </i>forces us to see that the world, the galaxy, does not care in the long run about the petty disputes of the Skywalker family. </div>
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The sojourn to Canto Bight, which some critics have said is unnecessary, I felt was an important reminder that the galaxy is comprised of a whole host of people who are neither wearing stormtrooper uniforms nor sitting behind the seat of an X-Wing. The Kochs of the world, the residents of Canto Bight, are just as culpable for the slaughter as the stormtroopers who carry the weapons they provide, and they will continue on as long as the system in place to give them power exists. That system didn't go away when Darth Vader killed his master and it certainly didn't go away when Kylo Ren killed his. <i>Last Jedi</i> makes us see that there is no singular hero that can fix all that is wrong with the galaxy, all that is wrong with the world. Belief in a mythical savior, from all sides of the political spectrum, leads individuals to do stupid things. Salvation will not come from one politician, one general, one soldier, one sword, one assassin. The galaxy, and our world too, is the way it is because of the choices and actions of many groups of people: people who are true believers, people only out for themselves, people who seek to profit, people who are apathetic, people who are oppressed, people who are oppressors. Even if one leader is destroyed, there will be others to take his place.</div>
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One thing that was so powerful to me in the film was the way in which it makes its main protagonists and antagonists alike confront the notion of heroism and villainy they have always been lead to believe. Poe, Finn, and Luke all learn that hubris can lead you to make stupid decisions and that sometimes being the hero means doing something other than what you assumed to be true. Kylo Ren learns that even if you save the girl you don't automatically win her affection and even if you follow in the actions and footsteps of the people who came before you, that doesn't make your power assured. It is beautiful that all four of these men learn these lessons from powerful women who have their own agency. In fact if anything is defeated in this film it is the male ego, which is why I think the film has gotten quite a bit of criticism from men. The women in the film, specifically Rose Tico, Admiral Holdo, General Leia and Rey, go on their own personal and emotional journeys as well. Rose realizes that the sacrifice she admired in her sister isn't the only way one can be a hero. Holdo realized the opposite: that sometimes even when you want to be practical and less reckless that self sacrifice is necessary for the better good. Leia realizes the lesson Luke was trying to teach her all those years ago on Endor, that this power was in her the whole time, that he would never be the only one that was needed to keep the Force in balance. Finally Rey learned that good and evil are more complicated things than you wish they would be, that it is the choices we make not a destiny, not an ancestry, that makes us who we are. Rey is not a Skywalker or a Kenobi or anybody but herself: a powerful wielder of the Force, a hero because she decides to be, because she wants to be. </div>
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As President Obama famously said, "We are the change we seek" and <i>The Last Jedi, </i>while not paraphrasing these words exactly, sets up a future of the Star Wars universe where change comes not from "chosen ones" but from individuals, from ordinary people making choices, learning lessons, failing, growing, helping each other. Real change to the galaxy will not come from Rey or the maybe 20 or so people who survived from the Resistance, it will come from people on all the worlds across the galaxy. Nobody is coming to save those enslaved children on Canto Bight, nobody is coming to rescue the other people on Jakku or Tattooine who are oppressed. Nobody is coming. It all comes down to you, to us, to the people, to rise up and defend their homeland, to take down their oppressors. The Force does not belong to one group of people and the power of the Force does not belong to Jedi alone. The Force exists and will exist regardless if people are there to use it to float rocks, and you don't need to be able to float rocks to take down systems of oppression. We are the Resistance, we are the change. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-6026425424978608432017-10-02T13:27:00.001-07:002017-10-02T13:29:39.859-07:00The Bad ThingsWhat do I tell her about the bad things?<br />
That they just happen?<br />
<br />
Well you see, my dear, sometimes<br />
Your ice cream melts<br />
You don't win the race<br />
You can't go where you want<br />
You get sick<br />
You are teased by kids at school<br />
You see dozens of people have been killed<br />
<br />
It's just one of those things.<br />
Is that it?<br />
It's just one of those things?<br />
<br />
What do I tell her about a country like that?<br />
That it just is?<br />
<br />
Well, you see, my dear, sometimes<br />
People go hungry<br />
People lose everything<br />
People aren't allowed into this country<br />
People can't get health care<br />
People hate other people<br />
People kill<br />
<br />
It's just one of those things.<br />
Is that it?<br />
It's just one of those things?<br />
<br />
What do I tell her we do about it?<br />
That we do nothing?<br />
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Well you see, my dear, sometimes<br />
We raise food prices but not wages<br />
We don't take care of our poor<br />
We restrict immigration<br />
We don't give people medical care<br />
We systemically discriminate<br />
We murder our own citizens<br />
<br />
It's just one of those things.<br />
Is that it?<br />
It's just one of those things?<br />
<br />
What do I tell her about the president?<br />
That he is monstrous?<br />
<br />
Well you see, my dear, sometimes<br />
He profits off our misery<br />
He mocks our pain<br />
He turns away refugees<br />
He doesn't care if we die<br />
He supports white supremacists<br />
He kills us with his words<br />
<br />
It shouldn't be this way<br />
Should it?<br />
It shouldn't be this way?<br />
<br />
What do I tell her we should do?<br />
That nothing changes?<br />
<br />
Well you see, my dear, sometimes<br />
We give to charity<br />
We call Congress<br />
We protest<br />
We tweet our thoughts and prayers<br />
We try to find blame<br />
We cry again<br />
<br />
It's just one of those things.<br />
Is that it?<br />
It's just one of those things?<br />
<br />
I guess so<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-62573202277388529752017-05-08T14:37:00.000-07:002017-05-08T23:35:21.852-07:00Imaginary Conversations: Strange DaysI haven't done an Imaginary Conversation in a while. Enjoy.<br />
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<h3>
"Strange Days"</h3>
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So you know what's odd?<br />
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Everything. Literally everything lately.<br />
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Ok, yes, point taken. Actually, that is kind of the whole crux of what my argument was going to be, but thanks for summing it up so succinctly.<br />
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Sorry. You were doing the whole "you know what's weird" and then I was supposed to reply with a "huh" and then we were going to have a conversation.<br />
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Pretty much, yeah that was what I was going for<br />
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Ok, do you want to start again? Or.. here I will help. What is odd?<br />
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Ugh this is not working out how I wanted to<br />
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Do you want to talk about something else?<br />
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No, I really want to talk about this but now this conversation is going absolutely sideways<br />
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You mean how everything is going completely sideways<br />
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Yep<br />
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So what is odd specifically that you wanted to talk about?<br />
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Well ok, yeah everything. I wanted to talk about how fucking odd everything is lately. But I guess specifically I wanted to talk about Elon Musk building this giant drill<br />
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Still have that hard on for Elon Musk, huh?<br />
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I don't have a fucking hard on for Elon Musk the guy is just an asshole capitalist like all of them that's not my fucking point.<br />
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Yeesh, sorry.<br />
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So my point is that Elon Musk could build this giant drill and then hold people hostage like an honest to god supervillain and people would be like "oh, huh... I guess that's a thing now"<br />
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Oh, I see what you are getting at.<br />
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Yeah, like he could announce he has a robot army and people wouldn't bat an eye. Like the world has gotten so fucking bonkers that nothing is phasing anybody anymore.<br />
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Well, that's not true. People are marching and doing all of that.<br />
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Oh I know, I mean... I dunno its hard to articulate. I think we talked about it a while ago where that lady is keeping track of all the crazy shit that happens every week in a totalitarian government so that we can really see how much has changed.<br />
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Yeah yeah.. and you were saying something like how so much shit has changed it is hard to even keep track of all the shit that has changed.<br />
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Yes, exactly. It's like... man we have gotten used to the world being fucking bonkers haven't we?<br />
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I dunno. I am not "used" to anything. I feel like I am living in some kind of alternate reality still<br />
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Oh yes absolutely. I'm not saying that. I guess I mean... It's like we are living in an alternate reality. Like there is just so much fucking horrible crazy shit that if more horrible crazy shit happened it would just be like "ugh jeez more horrible crazy shit. Well that's to be expected in this horrible crazy shit-verse we live in now"<br />
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I get ya. Like it is just more shit piled on to the old shit. It isn't new shit anymore. It isn't as surprising.<br />
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No, not at all. Its like... well, ok so this is kind of homophobic, but its like how there is this trope now that super anti-gay Republican politicians are actually secretly gay. Like that wasn't a trope that really existed before a bunch of them turned out to be secretly gay. And now it is this, albeit somewhat homophobic, trope that the Congressman doth protest too much. It wouldn't surprise anybody of any super right wing guy was discovered with a secret gay lover because we are just used to that by now.
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I see what you are saying but I absolutely hate that trope as a thing<br />
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I know, I just meant it as an example. I didn't mean to offend. <br />
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I just fucking hate that shit. I hate the whole making Trump and Putin gay in pictures shit. It just reinforces stereotypes about masculinity and homosexuality. It is total bullshit<br />
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I get it, I'm sorry. I just meant the example. Like it doesn't surprise people anymore, is what I meant. I guess the point I was trying to make is that things are so horrible that more horrible things are just added onto the pile of horrible things that already exist. <br />
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But doesn't resigning to the inevitability of horrible things happening enable them to happen? Isn't it our complacency in things like police violence, our lack of a reaction, that lead to such things becoming normalized? <br />
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I guess that is true. I suppose I was just kind of acknowledging that it <i>is</i> true you know what I mean? It is insane to me that the most bonkers thing could happen and people would just accept it as a matter of course. It is insane to me that people who voted for Trump still support him even if they believe that Russia helped him win. Like, its one thing if they don't believe that Russia helped him. I get that. Like I get it is hard to know what to believe and fake news and blah blah. I really do understand that part of it. But they did this survey and these Trump supporters were like yes they support Trump even if he collaborated with Russia. Like they are ok with treason now. When the fuck did THAT happen? When did people become ok with just whatever? <br />
<br />
9/11<br />
<br />
Really? Because I kind of feel like this is a newish development. Are you talking about like 9/11 truthers specifically? <br />
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Well yes and no. Mostly just the act itself. It was insane wasn't it? They flew airplanes into buildings and caused them to come crashing down, killing thousands of people. I mean that's not a thing that happens in real life. That is like some movie shit. That isn't real. <br />
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Yeah it was pretty insane<br />
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But it happened. And from that moment things were just different, things were just a little off. People were more afraid. People were scared that something like that could happen again. I mean this thing that nobody thought could possibly happen ever, nobody could imagine, now people were afraid. It was like Godzilla had come and stomped around and then even if Godzilla died there is this lingering fear like "Oh shit, what if there is another Godzilla."<br />
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I think I am following<br />
<br />
So the aftermath of 9/11 were all of our shitty wars and all of that. And the thing is, the way people talked it was as if we lived in a different world. People who were against torture for their whole lives, who may have even voted Democrat, suddenly started saying things like the terrorists don't deserve sympathy, that torture was ok, that bombing was justified if it got one bad guy. <br />
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Ugh, yeah. I heard so many people I thought were pretty liberal say some seriously jingoistic weird shit in the early 2000s<br />
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Those weird impulses didn't go away all because Bush did, all because we had Obama. I mean, people just started to accept continuous war as a thing. We have been at war continuously for like 16 years. Like ok we are <i>mostly </i>done with the war stuff in Afghanistan but not really. We still have troops on the ground getting killed and killing others. We have just accepted this. Continuous war was not a normal thing. But now we just accept it. We accept that in this world "full" of terrorists that it is ok to be continuously at war.<br />
<br />
Shit, I never really thought about it that way but yeah you are kind of right<br />
<br />
I mean before that we had the Cold War, that was the normal. It was normal for people to think that nuclear war could happen at any time. It is new to us thinking about that because we haven't thought about nuclear war in a long time, but that was totally normal for them back then. Anything completely bonkers becomes normal if it lasts long enough. <br />
<br />
You know what is REALLY odd, though?<br />
<br />
Ok, I know how to play now. What?<br />
<br />
That we have all these villains. We have HYDRA basically, but we don't have any superheroes.<br />
<br />
Well, I mean come on super powers aren't exactly realistic.<br />
<br />
Yeah I know that. Vigilantes I mean. I mean even old school Scarlet Pimpernel or Zorro style vigilantes. Like these poor people are being detained by ICE and deported and stuff and you are telling me that we can't even get like ONE dude dressed as Zorro freeing people from detention centers? We have these hackers going around releasing emails for the other side, but not ONE is really doing good for the resistance? What the fuck is up with that?<br />
<br />
Oh honey... I have some bad news for you.<br />
<br />
Huh?<br />
<br />
People are shitty. <br />
<br />
Well, I mean there have to be SOME people who aren't shitty, right?<br />
<br />
You would think. But there you go. Nobody IS out there dressing up in costume and fighting the man like that. Yes people are marching, yes people are resisting in ways that might get them arrested and released but nobody is doing that definitely illegal stuff that would get them sent to prison for a long time on behalf of anybody. <br />
<br />
Well there are Antifas<br />
<br />
Yeah there are Antifas but come on have you seen one of them REALLY do anything other than punch a few Nazis? <br />
<br />
Well, that is something right? What do you want them to do?<br />
<br />
You were the one who said you wanted to see superheroes. I'm just saying that's about all you are going to get. Nobody's gonna do anything that will get them more than a misdemeanor assault charge or a little dumb vandalism of banks. What do YOU want them to do?<br />
<br />
Well, I probably shouldn't say<br />
<br />
If you response to the question is "I probably shouldn't say" then I'm going to DEFINITELY say you shouldn't say and lets get off this topic of conversation as swiftly as possible<br />
<br />
Fine without specifics I am just curious why nobody is willing to do more than just punch the occasional Nazi. <br />
<br />
Well why aren't you? You read enough comic books. You could go to the gym, get jacked, put on a suit and fight crime.<br />
<br />
I don't have time to go to the gym like that. I mean like... I dunno... an ex military person or whatever. Somebody with skills to actually be a superhero. <br />
<br />
You don't have time to go to the gym... that is your response to why you aren't fighting fascism. I am.. I just don't even have any words.<br />
<br />
Oh fuck you. Why aren't you going out there fighting crime? You are more fit than I am<br />
<br />
Oh, that's a really simple one: because I enjoy my life and I don't particularly want to die or get incarcerated for the rest of my life. Also pain is ouchy. <br />
<br />
Pain is ouchy. I just...<br />
<br />
What? You asked. I mean I tried to tell you. There aren't superheroes in real life because nobody wants to take risks like that. We did get Chelsea Manning. She WAS willing to risk prison to release information she thought would help our country, to reveal things she thought were wrong. That's about all you are going to get, ya know? You are asking for some kind of hypothetical person who is hyper competent in multiple ways (fighting, computer skills, espionage), who doesn't have a family or is willing to leave their family behind, and who is willing to put themselves in harms way for no reward other than the betterment of mankind. This person doesn't exist. They exist in comics because that is what people wish was real but real people aren't like that. There isn't anybody in real life who is like that.<br />
<br />
Really, you don't think there is anybody like that?<br />
<br />
I mean YOU were the one who asked the question. You were the one who said it was weird. I'm saying it isn't weird at all. It is human nature. We imagine heroes because there aren't any in real life. It is wish fulfillment precisely because it is a wish, not reality. The reality is, as we have learned in the study of history, that people and their governments are more often shitty than not. That people are motivated by greed, that absolute power corrupts, that even well-intentioned people do terrible things. I DO still feel like we are living in this strange alternate reality. I DO feel this sense that things have gotten worse. I guess I just have started to realize that "bad" is kind of the default. <br />
<br />
That's awfully pessimistic isn't it. <br />
<br />
I think its realistic. Even before the election you were talking about how you didn't want to have to join the resistance like you were Katniss or in Star Wars or whatever. Nobody does. Those people who were REALLY part of the resistance, the French Resistance? A whole lot of them died. We idolize them and we remember them because they were remarkable not because they are the norm. Making a conscious decision to sacrifice your life for a cause is not something that everybody can do.<br />
<br />
Yeah...<br />
<br />
Listen. Everything IS crazy. Everything IS odd. Nothing seems to make sense. And complacency IS bad and by no means should you accept that things are going to be like this forever and get defeatist. But.... and a BIG but, no hero is going to come and save us. Heroes don't exist. I would believe in supervillains before I believe in superheroes. We don't need heroes, we need people to do the hard work. <br />
<br />
That sounds hard<br />
<br />
It is<br />
<br />
Fuck<br />
<br />
Yep<br />
<br />
I just hate how shitty everybody has become lately. How the shitty people have been emboldened by this administration. What are we supposed to do?<br />
<br />
Just be less shitty. Just do what we can to be less shitty. That's all anybody can do.<br />
<br />
That sucks<br />
<br />
I know<br />
<br />
A lot<br />
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I know<br />
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Fuck<br />
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Yep<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-55716491439632753082017-04-26T11:56:00.000-07:002019-02-25T16:02:24.108-08:00Curiouser and Furiouser - A Fast and Furious Watch: Part 8 - Fate of the Furious<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0R4aOTXxZms/WQDeiL4VSzI/AAAAAAABEGU/6HawcjDwW8guelns7owCKWdoKUHrF7xnwCLcB/s1600/17409744_1392897104063839_562984956_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="173" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0R4aOTXxZms/WQDeiL4VSzI/AAAAAAABEGU/6HawcjDwW8guelns7owCKWdoKUHrF7xnwCLcB/s320/17409744_1392897104063839_562984956_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Wow! I can't believe just 7 months ago I had never seen a single Fast and Furious movie and now I got the chance to see one on the big screen for the very first time! This is a really important milestone. If you haven't read my other recaps, you can find them <a href="https://talesfromthegloop.blogspot.com/search/label/curiouser%20and%20furiouser">here</a>. This whole thing is full of spoilers. You have been warned. On to the recap of <i>Fate of the Furious, </i>a film so bonkers it almost boggles the mind. <br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5fZO_rxZpsA/WPvTt9qkVeI/AAAAAAABEFE/1NP8SCXbLao0nLcG5LgUokPILnQQjUhmQCLcB/s1600/race.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5fZO_rxZpsA/WPvTt9qkVeI/AAAAAAABEFE/1NP8SCXbLao0nLcG5LgUokPILnQQjUhmQCLcB/s320/race.jpg" width="320" /></a>Our story begins in Cuba where Letty and Dom have presumably been living for some time. There is an old fashioned butt jiggling car party, hearkening back to the early years of the series in a charmingly nostalgic way. As it is Cuba, most of the cars were classics from the 50s, which was novel and very cool to see. A young kid, whose name I did not catch but who is identified as Dom's cousin, has run into some trouble with the local butt jiggling car party organizer/ street racer/ maybe gang dude? Dom has a cousin apparently. Neat. Dom's cousin has a shit car and can't race for crap so Dom agrees to race so that he can keep his shit car. Unfortunately the street racing kingpin dude says Dom has to drive the shit car in the race instead of his nice car. Uh oh! Time for Dom to
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DQBWe8ktkzs/WPvUAv5-3QI/AAAAAAABEFI/IAPX91S3QSozprGtd7ECro5gNWzjSZifQCEw/s1600/ghost%2Brider.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DQBWe8ktkzs/WPvUAv5-3QI/AAAAAAABEFI/IAPX91S3QSozprGtd7ECro5gNWzjSZifQCEw/s200/ghost%2Brider.jpg" width="159" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Newest addition to the crew</td></tr>
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magically MacGyver the engine with a Coke can in such a way that it makes it go fast. Unfortunately this jerry rigging also causes the car to catch on fire in the middle of the race, which Dom manages to win anyway by driving his car in reverse. He drives a literal flaming car and gets out totally fine without a scratch. Apparently Dom is Ghost Rider now. New pitch: Ghost Rider teams up with the Fast and Furious crew to track down bad guys. That would be really awesome. Robbie Reyes Ghost Rider obviously. You know what I'm just going to say that Robbie Reyes is part of the Fast and Furious team now. Anywho, Dom wins, but because he has all the money he could possibly want he doesn't take the guy's car from him, settling instead for his respect. Then he gives his cousin the keys to his nice car since he drove his flaming one off the side of a boardwalk. Dom is rolling in like Daddy Warbucks handing out cars to everybody. New pitch: Vin Diesel as Daddy Warbucks.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fqpEjz0JA1g/WPvUovC30HI/AAAAAAABEFQ/UA1wfLtnIHcqMaEdHy3vu7CnRhUygJTlwCLcB/s1600/cipher.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fqpEjz0JA1g/WPvUovC30HI/AAAAAAABEFQ/UA1wfLtnIHcqMaEdHy3vu7CnRhUygJTlwCLcB/s200/cipher.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What is your deal, lady?</td></tr>
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Moving on. Dom and Letty celebrate back and their place, showing more romantic chemistry than they have in some of the other films. Letty finally knows who she is which is a bonus. The next day Dom runs into Charlize Theron sporting some really terrible white girl dreads like Rachel Dolezal or some shit. He stops to help her fix her car but yikes she's really a bad guy who shows him something on a phone and tells him that he needs to betray his whole crew. WHAT'S IN THE BOX!? I mean the phone. Charlize's character, whom we later learn is called Cipher, is out here looking like those dudes from the Matrix Reloaded acting all shifty. I really don't get her whole deal. <br />
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We then catch up with Hobbs who is a coach for his daughter's soccer team doing the full dad<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TMspmBCshf0/WPvVFY_cHYI/AAAAAAABEFU/6OQTAFTQ7TErhSiA8zMp1sQnSYOLo4PUwCLcB/s1600/hobbs.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TMspmBCshf0/WPvVFY_cHYI/AAAAAAABEFU/6OQTAFTQ7TErhSiA8zMp1sQnSYOLo4PUwCLcB/s320/hobbs.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I guess this is prob cultural appropriation but it was cute af</td></tr>
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thing. Then he leads the girls in a Haka/ Siva Tau dance to psych out the opposing team. It is freaking adorable. Oh and Hobbs has like a fan club of all the moms on the benches because all these suburban white ladies are thirsty as fuck for The Rock. I mean, who wouldn't be? Some agent dude shows up and Hobbs is pissed because he's doing the dad thing right now, focusing on listening to Tay Tay in the car with little girls not shooting bad guys. The Rock is really using a lot of his comedy chops here, which he hasn't really been able to flex in this series. In fact, I would say pretty definitively that <i>Fate of the Furious</i> has the most intentionally comedic moments of any of the previous films. A lot of that humor comes from Hobbs, whose first name is Luke I guess, not sure if we ever knew that before. Given that he doesn't even crack a smile in his first appearance in <i>Fast 5</i> this is a nice change. Anyway the agent guy convinces him that he needs to get back to work so he calls in his crew. Like basically the FF crew are like the Avengers hanging out doing their thing until they get called to fly to Germany or wherever. <br />
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Everybody meets up and chases down some dude who stole an EMP and Tej rigs up some cute looking wrecking balls and everything goes great. Then all of a sudden as they are heading home, Dom turns on the team, steals the EMP, and runs. Letty is heartbroken, everybody is like WTF. It pretty much sucks. Also I guess what they were doing was illegal? Oh right like because they aren't official agents? I dunno I really don't understand the organizational structure of how they get their jobs. At any rate Hobbs is arrested and Mr. Nobody shows up with his douche canoe assistant Little
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Nobody who offer Hobbs a deal to work for them and get out of jail but he decides to go to jail anyway. There he sees Deckard Shaw whose cell is conveniently directly across from his. Much of the humor from this film comes from the fantastic chemistry between Jason Statham and Dwayne <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tD5-2I1nNZA/XHSBYHjHE1I/AAAAAAABH9Y/2x8TT53M-RobBKK1uygTExhU0We88yeyACLcBGAs/s1600/fate_johnson.0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1200" height="133" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tD5-2I1nNZA/XHSBYHjHE1I/AAAAAAABH9Y/2x8TT53M-RobBKK1uygTExhU0We88yeyACLcBGAs/s200/fate_johnson.0.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Now kiss</td></tr>
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Johnson, whom online people have shipped and I am pretty on board. They antagonize each other in hilarious ways. Hobbs straight up starts curling his bench like a weight, having ripped it directly from the wall. It is some silly dude queer bait posturing, but I enjoy it. All of a sudden, the doors to the cells open and there is craziness. Hobbs and Shaw are both throwing a lot of people down, but really they just want to get to each other. Great running and action in this sequence. Everybody has their skills in these movies and Statham's is parkour/ running. He is lithe and swift and he climbs fences, leaps over other prisoners and knocks them down. Anyway they think they have escaped but they are surrounded by Nobody and his men, who orchestrated the whole thing. <br />
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Mr. Nobody brings Hobbs and Shaw to the super secret base of whatever organization Nobody happens to work for, and the rest of the crew is already there. Everybody is pissed that Shaw is there,
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jUNfuOEv_pQ/WP93-R9ThOI/AAAAAAABEFk/oyqef4f4r7UElyi667Q1k-BC-YEK4RIwwCLcB/s1600/han%2Bmemorial.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="149" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jUNfuOEv_pQ/WP93-R9ThOI/AAAAAAABEFk/oyqef4f4r7UElyi667Q1k-BC-YEK4RIwwCLcB/s320/han%2Bmemorial.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I will never forget you, my sweet angel</td></tr>
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but then it is revealed that Shaw was recruited by Cipher and I guess isn't such a horrible dude. Which I would totally buy if HE DIDN'T FUCKING KILL HAN. This is the part of the movie that is most infuriating to me. I have read online that the director may have implied that Han is not actually dead or may come back or something like that. That would be awesome. But Han's name is not mentioned at all in this entire scene, in the entire movie, as the FF crew interact with the man who killed him/ whom they presume killed him. If they want to say that Shaw didn't actually kill Han, fine, then this is the scene to do it in. But the entire rest of the movie is based on the notion that Shaw is just some criminal they reluctantly partner with and not somebody who straight up murdered one of their crew. I mean the entire last film was a revenge movie against this guy. His banter with Hobbs is funny (Shaw says Hobbs t-shirt must be cutting off circulation in his brain, Hobbs calls him a tea and crumpets eating criminal son of a bitch) and he plays a vital role, but it really struck me that by not talking about Han at all, the film has a massive plot hole that I couldn't get past. <br />
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Anyway, for the sake of the film they need Shaw's help because he has some experience with this Cipher lady who has recruited Dom for reasons unknown. Roman suggests they use Gods Eye, that nifty Person of Interest machine that can locate anybody anywhere that they were tracking down last film. Unfortunately, it starts to ping all over the place because Cipher is this crazy hacker lady. Oh and Ramsey has heard of her but she thought it was like a whole organization of people because they do such awesome awesome hacking. So yeah basically they are saying that it was this Cipher chick who set everything in motion the last couple of movies and she has really been the big bad all along. <br />
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Whatever. It's always one big bad controlling everything. Charlize Theron is Thanos I guess. Actually, ok so if Charlize Thanos is trying to get the In-Furious Gauntlet who would be each gem? Tej/ Ramsey def Mind gem, Hobbs the Power gem, Han the Time Gem (because I'm still convinced he is a time traveller), Dom the Soul gem, Letty the Reality Gem, and Roman the Space Gem I guess because there is no gem of eating crisps and wise assing.<br />
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Where was I? Oh right. So they are looking for Dom but the thing doesn't work so then Ramsey tries another magical hacking doodle and they figure out that the CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE! Cipher and Dom roll in and and shoot up the place and steal Gods Eye. Everybody is super sad and disappointed in Dom but nobody dies in the attack. In the aftermath, Letty suggests maybe they call Brian and Mia for help, but apparently his time in this life is done. I like that they kept Brian the character alive for the sake of the film, living his life in peace away from all this craziness. Paul will be with us in spirit forever. So Dom and Cipher return to their hidden airplane of doom and we finally figure out why Dom is working for her: she has kidnapped Elena! Not only that, Elena apparently had a baby with Dom in that time before Letty came back that he didn't know about and she's got the baby too! OMG Dom is a dad!!! BABY!!! What?! Alright so now this makes a lot more sense. His child is on the line that's why he is doing what Cipher wants. When it comes to family, <i>family</i> takes precedence over "family."<br />
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The team tries to figure out their next plan of action, which apparently involves Mr. Nobody taking them to a secret garage that is hidden behind a fish processing plant. The garage has a ton of dope rides, including tanks, because its all the stuff seized from drug dealers over the years. Cool. Roman basically cums just walking into the place. Tej really wants a tank. Back in the legion of doom, Cipher sends Dom on a run to do something but he fakes his car being broken down and sneaks away to talk to Helen Mirren!! Helen Mirren plays a total badass like street thug gang leader. I love her. She was amazing. We cut back to the FF crew who are sniping at each other, particularly Hobbs and Shaw who really just need to get a room already. Actually, can we talk about this because the first few films had SO much queerbaiting that I came to really expect them in the films. Then as the series took a more action focused turn a lot of those bromance moments went away. I'm actually kind of glad they found their rhythm again with Hobbs and Shaw.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-j66D2HY-UVo/WP9-csH55QI/AAAAAAABEF0/4RgXxuqhHg8dw9n-K7p2hg69anct43ifACLcB/s1600/zombie%2Bcars.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="167" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-j66D2HY-UVo/WP9-csH55QI/AAAAAAABEF0/4RgXxuqhHg8dw9n-K7p2hg69anct43ifACLcB/s320/zombie%2Bcars.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">what is even happening?</td></tr>
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Ok back the to movie. Dom returns to Cipher. I guess there is a plan to get some nuclear launch codes from a Russian diplomat guy so she sends Dom in to retrieve them. He's expecting to have another crew of drivers to help, but it turns out that Cipher can hack literally every car in the entire city and she sends all these zombie cars to block traffic and do her bidding. It really is like a zombie movie. As these movies get more and more sci fi bonkers you can do shit like this. Remember when it was just about street racing and maybe busting some cocaine dealers? Simpler times. Now we have hacked cars raining down from the sky out of a parking garage and driving over curbs and shit. Dom backs the Russian car into a corner and then gets out looking like fucking Bane with a metal cutter and shit. What the hell, Dom? He intimidates the Russian guy into handing over the nuclear codes and then gets in his car. But the FF crew is here to save the day, including the douche Little Nobody, aka Sir Nobody-Wants-You-In-This-Movie-Please-Go-Away. They get to Dom and all shoot grappling hooks into his car. But of course, because it is Dom, aka the greatest driver known to man, he manages to evade capture, tear the grappling hooks off, and then takes off on foot. <br />
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Shaw chases after Dom, and Dom shoots him. DAMN! Letty chases after him too, but he can't bring himself to shoot her also. Tormund from Game of Thrones, who is like one of Cipher's flunkies DOES pull a gun on Letty, but Dom convinces him to let her go and the two take off with the nuclear codes. Letty is absolutely heartbroken, though happy that Dom didn't have it in him to actually shoot her. She believes in him, but she doesn't know what to do. Dom could have attempted to communicate SOMEWHAT with her, but alas. Meanwhile, everybody's pretty angry that Dom just murdered Shaw, except for me who remembers Han more than his friends. My dear Han, by Grapthar's Hammer you shall be avenged. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hXb_jEjkGec/WQDeDNeWxWI/AAAAAAABEGQ/ZKAxPT-DUMMM4opLArXOI6SZZB8NBy_7ACLcB/s1600/nuke-blast.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hXb_jEjkGec/WQDeDNeWxWI/AAAAAAABEGQ/ZKAxPT-DUMMM4opLArXOI6SZZB8NBy_7ACLcB/s320/nuke-blast.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Fun thoughts</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Anyway, Cipher is pissed that Dom couldn't kill Letty so she straight up murders Elena in front of him/ in front of the baby. I freaking hate fridging, especially when the character serves literally no other purpose than to be a plot device. Elena deserved better. Anyway, Cipher then reveals her master plot which is to get nukes so she can hold governments accountable and shit. Like, I dunno, maybe she's got a point? We live in odd times where even a mention of nukes in this movie brings to mind the actual world we live in. Actually, this whole back half of the film with unsecured nukes in this Russian base that had been taken over by separatists was deeply disquieting for me in an era where people are talking about nuking things again. I guess this is what it was like during the Cold War with all those movies, but I saw those Cold War movies after the Cold War was over so like it wasn't really imminent for me and just a plot device. Throughout the rest of this movie I couldn't help thinking, "Wait.. ARE the nukes secure? Could separatists get a hold of them this easily? Oh shit what the fuck." This was actually pretty distracting for me, to be honest. I had a hard time getting out of that weird head space. Stupid anxiety. Stupid fucking nukes.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rjwTC4ci04w/WQDg9jE36zI/AAAAAAABEGg/oWEbzCFcO10VCJ3rGgGKtkZurFErTq4gwCLcB/s1600/258bec86bb92733e83680a802e424714.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="154" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rjwTC4ci04w/WQDg9jE36zI/AAAAAAABEGg/oWEbzCFcO10VCJ3rGgGKtkZurFErTq4gwCLcB/s200/258bec86bb92733e83680a802e424714.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What Roman SHOULD look like after that dip</td></tr>
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Moving on. The crew figures out where the bad guys are heading and try to get there first in all those shiny cars they were looking at before. Tej gets his tank and he is so happy. Roman took a Lambo which makes PERFECT sense since they are driving on snow. Oh Roman, you goof. So Dom rolls in using that EMP that he stole, which disables all the Russian cars, but somehow doesn't disable his own? Um.. I'm pretty sure that's now how EMPs work. Like you can't also be driving a car and use one, bro. Whatever. Cipher car jacks a nuclear submarine. Ramsey and Tej do their techy thing, but then Roman and the douche Little Nobody get trapped in the only room that can disable the nuclear codes and Roman, hilariously, doesn't know how to read Russian. Tej tries to walk him through it, but Roman is struggling until he saves the day and disables the nukes and saves the world. Fucking Roman saves the world. It is as this point I realize that I trust our nuclear codes to Tyrese more than the actual president of the United States. Odd thoughts to be having during an FF movie. Now everybody needs to escape, so they all get in their cars and drive away, but wait... Roman drove a freaking Lambo in the middle of the snow and it has no traction and he can't drive away from the Russians who are chasing them. God Dammit, Roman, you just saved Earth get it together. His car goes into the water but Tej reaches him with a hook and gets him out, but how Roman is not just dead of exposure is one of the enduring mysteries of this film. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sb3amyjXVp4/WQDiwKOGDRI/AAAAAAABEGs/uV5tFOwAfSM9dgaytkotpklA84tBf2l8ACEw/s1600/baby_carlos.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sb3amyjXVp4/WQDiwKOGDRI/AAAAAAABEGs/uV5tFOwAfSM9dgaytkotpklA84tBf2l8ACEw/s320/baby_carlos.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Damn this baby is cute</td></tr>
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No longer a mystery are Dom's plans since we finally get to the big reveal that Helen Mirren is Owen and Deckard Shaw's mom. The whole think with killing Deckard was a ruse and with the help of the Cuban street racing guy, those two dudes from <i>Fast 5</i> who lost all their money, and Mrs. Shaw, Deckard was spirited away, got his bro out of prison, and now the two Shaw Bros together at last can fuck Cipher's shit up. Deckard, Han killing fucking Deckard Shaw, saves the day and rescues Dom's baby from the plane. This does NOT make up for killing Han, but this <i>Pacifier </i>sequel is pretty hilarious. Deckard punching out dudes, baby just smiling and bouncing along with ear phones in. Dammit, Jason Statham stop being so likable. This whole scene was just supremely silly and I really enjoyed it. There have been talks about giving Hobbs and Shaw their own spinoff movie, and I really would not mind it at all if they decided to make it one of those "uh oh Hobbs' daughter snuck in the back seat and now they have to kill people with a little kid tagging along" movies with Deckard as Hobbs' manny. Jason Statham was really great in <i>Spy</i> and I like seeing him doing more silly stuff. Its a bummer about the whole killing Han and me never being able to forgive him thing. God this baby is cute. They got the cutest fucking baby to play Dom's baby. <br />
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Anyway, with the Shaw bros doing their thing, Dom is free to kill Tormund and help his buddies. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BuDrxnpH57w/WQDj6dzV2WI/AAAAAAABEG4/bgXaFCLk-OMfZ6hyw2xbZLZRbcWtux7WACLcB/s1600/1488423016_80f557346e9c57a769fa41a2b284345a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BuDrxnpH57w/WQDj6dzV2WI/AAAAAAABEG4/bgXaFCLk-OMfZ6hyw2xbZLZRbcWtux7WACLcB/s320/1488423016_80f557346e9c57a769fa41a2b284345a.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I can't even explain this. I won't even try.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Hurray!! But uh oh, the sub is surfacing and torpedoes are away! This is the part of the movie that you probably saw in the trailer and thought, "what the fuck is going on why is there a nuclear submarine chasing after street racing cars and a tank and when did these movies become just Brosnan era Bond knock offs." ICE! TORPEDOES! BOMBS! SHOOTING! ALL THE THINGS!! Anyway, everybody is happy that Dom is back and with them but how are we going to get out of this pickle. Letty and Ramsey share a car and have a conversation about Cipher which I think was the first time this movie passed the Bechdel Test, though don't hold me to that. A heat seeking missile is heading toward Dom, but he drives around so it hits the sub instead and explodes. But oh no! He's out of his car and is going to get burned alive! Thankfully the crew surrounds him with their cars, protecting him from the flames, which is totally a real thing that cars can do. <br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.guff.com/media/24202/bqdu3pq.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://images.guff.com/media/24202/bqdu3pq.gif" height="179" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Team Cipher blasting of agaaaaaaain </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
So Cipher jumps out of the plane with a parachute and manages to escape and surely they will have to track her down in the next film. Her getting away like that was a very GI Joe/ generic 1980s cartoon way of ending the story. I'm ok with that. Owen and Deckard save the baby and get control of the plane and all is well. At the very end of the film everybody is hanging out on a roof having a happy BBQ when Deckard arrives to present Dom with his kid. It feels like maybe Deckard should have given him his kid sometime before just then? Like it seems like some time has passed. Why was Deckard just watching Dom's baby? Is Deckard just his manny now? Very confusing. Anyway, Dom toasts his crew and announces his baby's name: Brian. Everybody in the movie theater bursts into tears. Brian will be with us always. Everybody is happy and having a grand old time and nobody says anything about Deckard, the man who murdered Han, being there too. Grand old times. <br />
<br />
Fin<br />
<br />
<br />
Stray Thoughts:<br />
<br />
- Man I really enjoyed Deckard Shaw in this movie and his dumb banter with Hobbs. Why couldn't they have just said that he didn't really kill Han, or he was brainwashed, or Han was really alive? I just don't know how they can expect the audience to keep on board with this<br />
<br />
- Movie pitch: Furious Babies. Like either the babies of all the crew OR the whole crew but just as babies street racing strollers and stuff. <br />
<br />
- Not all hackers need white people dreads. Just.. stop<br />
<br />
- The way the film ended things with Ramsey, Tej and Roman implied that maybe Ramsey might not be into dudes at all, which I would 100% be on board for. It would be great if they took that whole fighting over her element out of the film all together and just made her an equal partner. She is smarter than half the damn team, she doesn't need to be viewed entirely on her relationship with a dude. <br />
<br />
- A lot of people didn't like this movie, but I actually enjoyed it IMMENSELY because of how batshit and goofy it was. It really didn't take itself seriously which was the biggest problem I had with some of the others in the series. I love batshit goofy movies, dammit. <br />
<br />
- Movie pitch: Fast-tastic Voyage. The FF crew is shrunken down and injected into Dom's blood stream after he develops a rare form of cancer that can only be cured by street racing through his circulatory system<br />
<br />
- Movie pitch: Fast and Furiosa. Cipher sets off a nuclear bomb causing destruction of most of the planet. Only the FF crew survive and, along with Cipher's twin sister Furiosa, they race through the desolate, scorched landscape searching for peace and security.<br />
<br />
- Movie pitch: Fast and Furious but in space. Its like a pod racing movie or something. <br />
<br />
Well that's it for a while. Thank you for joining me on this furious journey. <br />
<br />
And remember: Live your life a quarter mile at a time. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-67195306849471999762017-03-22T11:17:00.000-07:002017-03-22T11:17:44.225-07:00Things I know, Things I don't know - a poem, I guess<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know why the caged bird sings</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Well, no I don’t</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maya Angelou knows that</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I mean I guess she does</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It says so right on the cover</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I don’t know, I haven’t read it</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But I know that it’s a book</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know the sound my daughter makes</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I tickle her tummy</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Which is different from the sound</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When she laughs at a joke about butts</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">She laughs at butts a lot</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I don’t know why butts are so funny</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But I know they are, e</span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">ven to me</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know the world could be better</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I don’t really know how</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I mean I guess I do</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maybe the “could” is the problem</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know the world </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">should</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> be better</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But maybe it</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> can’t</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> be</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I wouldn’t know</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know the wonderful feeling </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Of taking off my bra </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">At the end of a long day </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I wish I didn’t wear one at all </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">In college some people</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Commented on my nips showing</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I know that's why I do</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know things now</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Many valuable things</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That I hadn’t known before</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Like lyrics to Sondheim songs</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Or knowing how to Google them</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In case I switched a word around</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Which I know wouldn't be as funny</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know that I don’t remember smells</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Like how they do in books</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When they say it smelled like</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Grandma’s house or something</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maybe I just have a bad smell memory</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Which I will now call smemory</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So I know what I don’t know</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know I am often jealous</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Of other people’s lives</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Even though I am pretty content</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Well, not really super content</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Since I don’t have a lot of </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Money or friends or free time</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know things could be better, or should be</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know I am more well travelled</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Than some people </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But less well travelled than others</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I know my passport is expired</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Because I can’t afford to travel </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I feel so cut off </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know I am missing a lot</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know there are things I am bad at</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Like cooking and cleaning </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And managing my time</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Which are bad things to be bad at</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m also bad at other things too</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Like clapping a rhythm or braiding hair</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That I know are slightly less important</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know I have a lot of ideas</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But I don’t really remember how</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To format them into an actual poem</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Like is this a poem?</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I don’t even know</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maybe it is</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I don’t even know it</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I don’t really know how to stop</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Stop talking, stop writing, just stop</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know I tend to ramble</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I tend to interrupt people</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Which is rude</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But I really struggle a lot</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">With knowing when to stop</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-89198772771561475202017-03-09T14:54:00.000-08:002017-03-09T14:54:02.709-08:00Imaginary Conversations - QuietYou've been kind of quiet lately<br />
<br />
Yeah<br />
<br />
Do you want to talk about anything? I mean there is a lot going on<br />
<br />
No<br />
<br />
You don't want to talk? Not at all? <br />
<br />
I just... I don't even know what to say. I don't even know what to say that hasn't already been said, that I've already said to you, that other people have said better, that I've seen in the news. Just... nothing. Everything is complete and utter shit is that what you want to hear?<br />
<br />
I just want to be here for you. I just want you to know that you have somebody who will listen to you. If you don't want to talk, don't talk. That's okay too. <br />
<br />
Fine<br />
<br />
Okay<br />
<br />
You know what the shittiest thing of all is? <br />
<br />
Hm? <br />
<br />
I can't shut it out. I used to be able to. I mean it is horrible of me, but I used to be able to shut it out. Before... before the election, before this whole thing I just... I mean I knew people were suffering. I wasn't dumb. But I guess I was... well it didn't really affect me directly and I was kind of selfish and shitty and... I dunno I just shut it out. I mean I got angry, don't get me wrong but... but I didn't think about it constantly. <br />
<br />
I mean of course you didn't. We talked about this after Orlando, I think. That tragedy causes us to react, that we don't mourn every single person that dies in car accidents or murdered by their spouses or killed in a war. You can't possibly carry that burden around with you all the time<br />
<br />
See... that's my problem. Its like... it used to be specific. It used be like... .I dunno... like for a week I would carry Philando Castile's name in my heart and I would think about him and how the police are such shit but then after a week or maybe even less than a week I would let him go. It was just one... it was like one at a time... or maybe like in the case of Orlando or bigger things its like I would think about those people at once. I would think about one act of terror, one shooting, one thing. They would be there in my heart and then they would be gone. I... It was kind of fake. I know it is fake. It is like those people who changed their profile to the French flag after the attacks or whatever it is just such superficial mourning bullshit I don't know...<br />
<br />
What are you trying to say?<br />
<br />
What I'm trying to say is... What I'm trying to say is that it isn't going away anymore. What I'm trying to say is that even right after those police shootings I would say that is shitty and part of me would move on. And maybe that was good. Maybe it was good to move on because I can't carry the anger and sadness with me all the time. Or maybe it was bad because I allowed myself to be comfortable in my life and not care enough. I don't know. In either case I let it go. I could go to the movies, I could go about my day, I could live my life...<br />
<br />
And now?<br />
<br />
I can't live anymore<br />
<br />
You can't... do you need to talk to somebody? Are you thinking of hurting yourself? <br />
<br />
No, no.. not I can't live... I mean I can't LIVE. Like... I can't just zone out. I can't just get drunk and watch a silly movie. I haven't been able to just completely turn it off. Even if I'm high and watching old episodes of Parks and Rec I am thinking about how we are completely and totally fucked. Even when I am looking at cat pictures on my computer, I have another window open of like fucking nuclear bunkers for sale near by. I haven't been able to read an actual book in ages. I can't concentrate. I can't focus. Every time I lie in bed at night in the dark, in the quiet... The quiet isn't quiet. My mind is full of thoughts and I can't shut it off. <br />
<br />
That's anxiety. <br />
<br />
Well no shit<br />
<br />
I mean it though, that is the kind of anxiety that you need to get help for. <br />
<br />
But I don't want help. I mean I want help but not the kind pills can give me. Unless they are pills I can slip into the drink of our new dictator that will take care of the problem permanently.<br />
<br />
I thought you said you weren't going to talk like that anymore<br />
<br />
Sorry. <br />
<br />
It's okay, you just really need to think about what you are saying.<br />
<br />
No, you know what? I'm not sorry. I'm not fucking sorry. I want him dead, ok. That's it. I am in absolutely no position to take care of it myself, though god I wish I was, but I do. I know it won't solve all the problems, I know that maybe it won't do anything at all, but god help me I want him dead more than I have ever wanted anything in my life. He is a fucking cancer. <br />
<br />
This kind of thinking isn't healthy and its also kind of... I dunno... like treason-ish<br />
<br />
Fuck it. So often people talk about like using a magical god damn time machine and killing Hitler and whatever and here we are and we don't need any time machine at all and where are all these people now, huh? Nobody will just go out there and say it. Well here I am. I'm saying it. We need to roll out a god damned guillotine and start the fucking Revolution already<br />
<br />
But you aren't, are you<br />
<br />
No. No. Fuck it. Fuck. I know. That's the point. I am pissed off that nobody is doing anything but I'm not doing anything either. I guess I just thought there would be people better than me, leaders... I don't know. And revolutions are bullshit and they never end well and the poor and vulnerable never get all that they hoped for and.... god damn it, nothing really will help will it?<br />
<br />
I wouldn't...<br />
<br />
No. I mean that's it. Nothing will fucking help. Nothing ever changes. Nothing ever happens. We are just screwed<br />
<br />
I think... and I am not trying to attack you or anything... but I think because you are thinking in extremes you are contenting yourself to inaction and fantasies. Yes, an actual honest to god revolution would be horrible and bloody and awful for so, so many people. And yet you seem to think that the only other alternative is helplessness, is just a loss of hope entirely, is a resignation of complete and total destruction. There has to be some kind of middle path. <br />
<br />
I know there is. I know there does... but I can't even see it. I can't even see that far. I feel like I'm drowning and I don't even see land. <br />
<br />
So start swimming<br />
<br />
But what is the point? I don't know where to go. I don't know what direction to swim in. <br />
<br />
So you want to just drown?<br />
<br />
But... I don't know if this swimming analogy even really works because I'm not even swimming. To say that I'm swimming implies that I have some kind of control at all. All I can do is call people and speak to interns. What the fuck good does that do? These people don't care. <br />
<br />
So do something else<br />
<br />
What? <br />
<br />
It isn't my job to figure that out for you<br />
<br />
Well then what fucking help was that<br />
<br />
I said I would be here for you, not that I could solve all your problems that easily<br />
<br />
Shit.<br />
<br />
I think there is a march next week are you marching?<br />
<br />
Yes I'm marching. Yes I'm fucking marching. I would march every god damn day if I felt it would do something. Well... no. No I wouldn't, would I? I need to go to work and I have shit that I am responsible for I am not in a position to actually get arrested or anything. How did those people do it? How did they risk so much? It makes me depressed.<br />
<br />
How so?<br />
<br />
It makes me depressed that these people risked everything, risked their lives, got beaten and spat on and boycotted even though it was financially hard on them and we sit here and we have a holiday celebrating the best of them, celebrating Dr. King, but when it comes down to it, when it really comes down to it, I am not... I'm not worthy. I am not good enough... I don't stand up. It is all easier in abstraction, easier to say what you <i>might</i> do when it isn't actually happening. It is easier to think about in theory. I'm just mad at myself.<br />
<br />
Mad that you don't do enough?<br />
<br />
Yes, exactly. Mad that I say that I will live by the examples of the people who came before me, of the union workers who went on strike in the bitter cold, of the civil rights leaders and on and on... How am I really living by their example as comfortable as I am? And yet instead of doing something, instead of getting out there, I sit in the quiet and let my anxiety consume me, miserable about the future but feeling incapable of doing anything. I don't know what to do. <br />
<br />
Neither do I<br />
<br />
That isn't very helpful<br />
<br />
I know<br />
<br />
I just have to do <i>something</i><br />
<br />
Maybe we will figure it out together<br />
<br />
Would you do that? <br />
<br />
Sure<br />
<br />
Ok.<br />
<br />
Are you feeling more hopeful?<br />
<br />
Eh<br />
<br />
"Eh" is better than no<br />
<br />
Yeah, I guess it is. I guess "eh" is better than no. <br />
<br />
I can work with "Eh"<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-40924799729162824912017-02-11T15:16:00.001-08:002017-02-11T15:33:57.088-08:00Saturday Poetry - 5 Minutes At the End of the Pier<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">5 Minutes At the End of The Pier</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I didn’t have much time to spare,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maybe thirty minutes was all,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So I decided to drive to the beach </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And park my car </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And walk to the end of the pier </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And sit. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As I neared the ocean,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The breeze began to pick up speed.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My hair blew into my eyes, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And my linen shirt caught the wind</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Like a sail,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Like a flag.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Everyone else out at the beach</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Were wearing sweaters or jackets,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But I just had a linen shirt and jeans.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I must have looked silly in the chill air:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My hair in my face, my shirt flapping.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Most of the people there were fishing:</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Standing mutely, their hands in their pockets,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A pole dangling off the side of the pier.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Some talked in hasty Spanish about this or that;</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Most were quiet.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">If they looked at me, I didn't notice.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">As I stepped on the wooden slats,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The wind blowing my hair in my face,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My shirt flapping, </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">All I saw was the sea:</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;">An empire of blue and green emptiness</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The possibilities beyond</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The unending line of the horizon</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The light reflecting off the water</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The faintest outline of the islands</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My wind-blown hair partially obstructing my view.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I walked to the end of the pier,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The sound of my footsteps inaudible over the sound</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Of the sea</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And the wind,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And sat on the bench.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">It had taken longer than I thought to walk there;</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I supposed </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">I had five minutes,</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Just five.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So for five minutes I sat on the bench</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">At the end of the pier</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I looked out at the unending blue</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I felt the breeze on my face and my hair</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I breathed</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I was suddenly conscious of my breathing.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was breathing.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When was the last time I had breathed?</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I couldn’t remember.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I found that strange.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I looked out at the unending blue and I breathed</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I breathed, really breathed, for five minutes</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For five minutes at the end of the pier.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And as I sat</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And as I breathed</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I thought:</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I thought about people who had never seen the ocean</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I thought about people who would never see the ocean</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I thought about people who dreamed of the ocean</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That they would never see.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I looked out on that ocean</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And I was thankful;</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thankful I had the ocean</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thankful I lived in California</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And thankful that for five minutes</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A whole five minutes</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I could breathe</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">As I sat at the end of the pier</span><span id="docs-internal-guid-a6a89db1-2f63-6d8d-d17d-5f33f402040b"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-56774161364088881452017-02-08T09:31:00.000-08:002017-02-08T09:31:25.450-08:00Imaginary Conversations - The BeginningThis conversation is imaginary. You know the drill. The rest are <a href="https://talesfromthegloop.blogspot.com/search/label/imaginary%20conversations">here</a>.<br />
<br />
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH"<br />
<br />
"Yeah, pretty much"<br />
<br />
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"<br />
<br />
"Feel better?"<br />
<br />
"I don't know what to do anymore"<br />
<br />
"I know"<br />
<br />
"I want to keep fighting but I am broken"<br />
<br />
"I know"<br />
<br />
"I'm starting to question my very sanity. I don't understand how these people don't realize what is happening. I don't understand how they can say things are business as usual. I don't know how they can be so callus about people's lives. I don't know how they can't see how he is consolidating power. I don't know how they can't see..."<br />
<br />
"Neither do I"<br />
<br />
"Whenever you watch movies... and I hate to compare this to a movie, but I have to because I really have no other basis for comparison right now. Whenever you watch movies, it is always at the end."<br />
<br />
"Huh?"<br />
<br />
"It is at the end. It is after a period of 10-30 years of horrible, sometimes more, and the good guys stop the bad guys after years of planning and organizing and stuff."<br />
<br />
"I see what you are saying"<br />
<br />
"Like even <i>Rogue One,</i> which was before the end, which was the catalyst for the end, took place in the context of a Rebellion that had been growing over a period of years, a Rebellion that had an infrastructure and stuff, you know what I am saying."<br />
<br />
"I do. You are saying we are in the prequels."<br />
<br />
"Yeah, sort of. This is just the beginning. It has just started. I always thought that if I was there at the beginning that I would know what to do to stop it. That if everybody saw it for what it was they would stop it. Like if Senator Palpatine was unmasked as a Sith before power had been consolidated that everybody would be ok and we would have never had Darth Vader or any of it."<br />
<br />
"But you are starting to realize that unmasking a Sith is harder than you thought? Or that it isn't enough?"<br />
<br />
"That it isn't enough, I guess. That even if somebody saw Palpatine Force choking somebody they would think like 'well maybe he just happened to choke on a pretzel at the same time.' That even if they saw the evil right in front of their eyes they would either think the evil is justified for their own protection or that there was no evil and the evil wasn't really there at all. There was no Force, there was no Sith. It was just make believe."<br />
<br />
"Fake News."<br />
<br />
"Yeah, exactly. Like you know how Rey and Finn are all super surprised that the Force is real? Even back in the original trilogy, Han called it a superstition and stuff. That always struck me. There used to be this organization of magical Force wielding Jedi that everybody believed in and then all of a sudden people stopped believing that such a thing could even exist. They knew the Empire controlled everything, but they probably didn't even believe that the Emperor was a Sith, even after all that time. None of it was real. All of it was pretend."<br />
<br />
"I've read somewhere that most people in the Star Wars universe probably couldn't read, that communication was really difficult. Things were still very much like videos only, not a whole lot of real written records. Plus, as we saw in <i>Rogue One,</i> storage of records was really bad. You take one thing and that's the entire record of that thing, there are like no other copies of anything anywhere. I could understand how information could be distorted in that environment."<br />
<br />
"So do I, and I have definitely read articles about that before. What I struggle with is, yeah, that whole Fake News thing. Just that people might as well not be able to read, might as well be like the people in Star Wars, because they don't trust anything. And maybe they shouldn't trust everything because there is so much propaganda, and information is so easy to distort, but when you trust nothing it is as though nothing is really there. You can show a person the truth but they won't believe it because it doesn't conform to their world view. They might as well be living on Tatooine and thinking that the notion of this Death Star is some kind of myth."<br />
<br />
"I totally get that. It is frustrating to be sure to hear from these people who said they didn't trust the government when Obama was President all of a sudden trust the government now. Now it is the government that is good and the people who are obstructionists who are bad. Now when the government detains people who have lawfully immigrated to this country it is good, but when the government tried to restrict who had access to guns it was bad. They have this idea that they need these guns to rise up against an oppressive government but when the oppressive government gets here they are happy as clams because it isn't oppressing them. They are just so full of shit."<br />
<br />
"Wow you have gotten angry."<br />
<br />
"I have gotten angry"<br />
<br />
"You used to be the sensible one and I used to be the angry, depressed, anxious one."<br />
<br />
"That was before."<br />
<br />
"So what now?"<br />
<br />
"Now everybody is either angry or deluded. Everyone is either sad or they are complacent. Everyone is either able to ignore what is happening or is trying to fight it. We live in different worlds"<br />
<br />
"Are things that black and white though? I don't think they are. God look at me, I am trying to be sensible. I mean there are probably people who think things are bad but not THAT bad and they won't believe that it is really bad until it gets too bad."<br />
<br />
"Those are the people that frustrate me the most. How bad does it have to get? How horrible? What has to happen?"<br />
<br />
"I know. It isn't enough to say that Palpatine is a Sith, they don't believe if they see him Force choking somebody, what needs to happen? If they see him shooting lightning out of his fingertips will they believe that is the Force or will they think that a freak lightning storm just happened that day." <br />
<br />
"Life isn't like Star Wars."<br />
<br />
"No. Life isn't like Star Wars or Harry Potter or any of it. Life isn't even like movies about the French Revolution or the American Revolution or the Communist Revolution. Those were movies. Even if you lived then it wouldn't be like in the movies. Nothing is like in the movies. Movies are easy."<br />
<br />
"Movies are easy; life is hard."<br />
<br />
"But what do you do when your life becomes closer to a movie than to your life? What the fuck do you do? I don't know how to live in this kind of world, in this movie world. What are people supposed to do in these situations? What happens now?"<br />
<br />
"I guess people move on and live their lives the best they can"<br />
<br />
"But how?! I don't know how to do that! Nobody prepared me to live in this kind of world, the kind of world where the court orders something but the government just doesn't comply. I mean what the actual fuck!? I don't even know how to respond to that. Bush was bad but Jesus at least I felt like he believed vaguely in the rule of law. I mean they would torture people but at least they would have the courtesy to go through the song and dance of not calling it torture instead of saying just like point blank, 'yeah we should torture people again, that was a good idea.'"<br />
<br />
"I know. It is nuts. This whole thing is nuts. I want to just go back to talking about stupid bullshit again and not politics"<br />
<br />
"YES! I wish politics just faded into the background again, like it wasn't so urgent. Man, during Obama I was so relaxed. I mean, not all the time, but just generally, ya know? There were months that went by where I didn't think about Cabinet positions. Shit, like I forgot John Kerry was Secretary of State for a bit. The news didn't affect me, nothing really changed all that much, things were just..."<br />
<br />
"Things were normal"<br />
<br />
"Yep"<br />
<br />
"This is not normal"<br />
<br />
"None of it is normal. I am so tired of saying how not normal everything is, but I don't even know how to stop. Like if giraffes started flying one minute and then the next minute the grass was orange and just when you are dealing with that weirdness bananas taste like apples or something" <br />
<br />
"I know what you are saying"<br />
<br />
"There is this thing we are supposed to be doing like tracking all the little changes so we can see just how not normal everything is, but like there are so many! Ugh! God I want to just be able to not think for 5 god damned minutes but I can't shut it off. No wonder I've been drinking more."<br />
<br />
"I think a lot of people have been drinking more or smoking more or fucking more or whatever it is people do to not think about this relentless march toward fascism."<br />
<br />
"I think that is really my only consolation: that most people, not everybody, but most people I am friends with or who are in my life are just as freaked the fuck out as I am. It makes me feel like I am not alone."<br />
<br />
"We are all in this together."<br />
<br />
"We are. I didn't even know what that expression meant before, but yeah. We are all in this together."<br />
<br />
"And we have to fight it together."<br />
<br />
"But I don't even know how to do that? Like I have my Congresspeople and Senators in my phone contacts. I call them a bunch but hardly ever get through even to a voicemail. I go to marches when I can. I send free faxes to people and shit. Like is that it? Is that the resistance?"<br />
<br />
"What did you expect? What did you want?"<br />
<br />
"I don't know what I want really I just... Ok yeah alright I expected things to be more drastic. I expected people to start... I dunno... being more like the antifas."<br />
<br />
"So you are saying people should start burning things with more frequency? Are you advocating for domestic terrorism?"<br />
<br />
"Noooooo? No. Maybe? No. I don't know. No. I'm just saying like... no. I am not saying anything."<br />
<br />
"I mean it kind of sounds like that is what you are saying."<br />
<br />
"I guess what I am saying is that how bad will it have to get? What will have to happen? What will it take for the people to get there? What will it take for that not to be fringe? You know what I'm saying?"<br />
<br />
"I don't know. What do you think it will take?"<br />
<br />
"I mean I don't know either, but as peoples rights are getting taken away and we are witnessing the decline of our nation and cabinet positions are bought and sold it feels like all this letter writing and calling voicemails and walking around with cute hats on seems like bullshit. Like it seems like we are past the point of being nice. That our so-called democracy and our so-called president are illegitimate and something needs to happen. Something more than writing letters. The entire system doesn't care about its citizens. All Congress wants to do is disenfranchise voters, promote their Christian agenda, and make money. Like you can't fight that with well reasoned arguments. What the fuck is the point?"<br />
<br />
"So you say you want a revolution?"<br />
<br />
"I... yes? Will I get in trouble for saying that? Yes. I do. Listen. Every other Western democracy has gone through many periods of change and transition. They have written entirely new Constitutions. They have completely changed their governments en masse. I'm not saying that such a thing would be so terrible. I mean it will be. It would be terrible. But it seems like it is necessary. I don't know. I don't even know."<br />
<br />
"I know."<br />
<br />
"I don't know how I can make it through 4 years of this. I have barely survived 2 weeks. I can feel my body rejecting this administration."<br />
<br />
"We have to just pace ourselves and do what we can. I know you want things faster, more dramatic, like a movie, but life isn't like that and you know it."<br />
<br />
"I do. Oh good, you are back to being sensible again. I really need you to be sensible."<br />
<br />
"I try."<br />
<br />
"I guess that's all any of us can do: try"<br />
<br />
"I guess so."<br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-47832537804399955472017-01-19T12:58:00.000-08:002017-01-19T14:08:14.208-08:00The EndHere we are at the end, the last day, and I feel so empty. Used up. He came and he told us to hope. He told us that we should keep hoping. He came and he gave us this glimpse into a world that could be if we kept changing and hoping. He didn't do it all. He didn't do enough. He couldn't save young people shot by police, he ordered the deaths of people on the other side of the world, he didn't do enough. He came and he told us to hope, though. He made us believe that leaders could be good and kind and worthy even when they don't succeed at all they tried to do. He made us feel that we were moving into a new era, that we were going to keep going, keep reaching, keep hoping keep changing and on and on until at last we had a nation that was truly equal and truly free. He made us believe. He made me believe. He made me hope.<br />
<br />
Maybe it will go on like normal. This is what I hope. I hope that I wake up in the morning and I make breakfast and I drop my daughter at school and I go to work and I help people. And I hope that the child who told me she was worried that her mother would be deported doesn't have to worry anymore. And I hope that people are healthy. And I hope that if people aren't healthy they have people and insurance to take care of them. And I hope that if people don't have friends or family to take care of them that charities really will step up and make sure they live. And I hope people live. And I hope people have clean water to drink. And I hope that people have food on the table. And I hope people have families who love them no matter who they are or who they love. And I hope businesses do right by people and make products that don't harm the environment. And I hope that businesses do right by their employees and give them medical leave when they need it or parental leave when they need it or even just time off to see a child's play because they are good people who care for their employees and want them happy. And I hope that there are no more wars. And I hope that people stop killing. And I hope that all the nukes are destroyed. And I hope that everyone can get a quality education. And I hope that nobody is judged by the color of their skin or their religion or their gender. And I hope that people stop hating. And I hope. I hoped.<br />
<br />
I hate him for it, a little. I hate that I got to see what we could have had if we only knew what we had when we had it. I hate that all this hoping made me believe a lie that somehow we were changing, when things are just as they have always been. I hate that he made me hope for things that are not so. I hate that we got so used to hoping, believing the impossible. I hate that people are still hating. I hate to hear my daughter cry how much she hates the new one, the asshole who comes tomorrow. I hate that she sees such pain in the world and she weeps for us. I hate that I am not strong enough for her. I hate that I cry in front of her. I hate that I can't promise her a future. I hate that I am finding it hard to lie.<br />
<br />
I try to hope. I try to hope that tomorrow is the way I wish it would be. That it isn't so terrible, it isn't so bad. But for me it feels like hope is leaving me, is on his way out the door. I look around me and I see our natural world dying. I see our schools dying. I see our people dying. I see our nation dying. I used to hope for a wondrous future full of possibility. Now I hope that there is a tomorrow. Now I hope that bombs don't fall and people don't die. Now I hope there is an America at all when I wake up in the morning. Now I hope that things are terrible but not <i>that</i> terrible. That isn't any kind of hope at all. It isn't the kind of hope that he promised us when he stood there on stage all those years ago. I hope the asshole doesn't kill us all. That is no kind of hope to pin your dreams on. I used to dream of fanciful things and now I dream of death. <br />
<br />
It is foolish to put faith in a man. To believe. It wasn't really him though: not the man, the president. It was the idea, really. The idea of hoping. For 8 years, 9 really, almost 10. From the moment he announced he was running and gave us the notion that such a thing could be. And he won and it was as though all things were possible, that we had entered a new world. It was into this new world that I gave birth to a daughter. It was in this world that she grew. She never knew anything else. She never knew the Berlin Wall. She never knew presidential scandal and impeachment. She never knew 9/11. She never knew a world where a Black man didn't live in the White House. She has no memory of a time when gays couldn't marry. She doesn't understand people who hate. She is confused by people who don't love. She grew up in the generation of Hope. <br />
<br />
So what do we tell them, this new generation, Generation Hope, children born or raised in past 10 years. What do we tell them now at the end of an era? How do we protect them? How do we help them grow? I see teenagers today, raised in this world where hope and change were possible, grow to be more socially aware, more progressive, than any generation before it. These flowers could blossom because the world was fertile for their imaginations, the land was full of hope. What will become of them in the new world? What will become of us all? <br />
<br />
It is the end. It is not the end of all hope, but it is the end of an era where hope was the norm. Maybe someday we will return to that world if we all make it out the other side. I know we won't all make it, though. Some of us will. Some of us. How will those of us who make it out remember this time? What will we say? How will history look at us? Are we in Berlin in the 20s? Are we something new? Will we take the stories of resistance we have worshipped in our popular culture to heart? Will we fight? Will we be able to? So many questions. So much uncertainty. <br />
<br />
This I know: it is the end. Tomorrow will be something new and what that new thing is we cannot yet know. It will be bad. That much is certain. We have received the call from our physician and we wait anxiously in the lobby. Will the doctor tell us that the disease has spread, is inoperable? Or will the doctor tell us that the tumor can be removed. I believe, I have to believe, that this cancer is treatable, that this malignant festering thing can be destroyed. Perhaps the treatment of the disease will make us feel sicker than we were before. Perhaps the treatment of the cancer will be long and painful. Perhaps we may not make it even after all the treatments. But perhaps it can. And this is what I hope. This is what I will continue to hope. Because I have to. <br />
<br />
He told us to hope. He told us to be the change we wanted to see in the world. Now we must live by his example without him to lead us. We owe it to him, to the memory of this era, to try. <br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-61948823573754730092017-01-14T15:34:00.002-08:002017-02-11T15:17:05.909-08:00Saturday Poetry - A Rock <div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A Rock</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Today I threw a rock</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was a small one, a pebble really</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Not much</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I threw it at a window, not expecting anything</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A gesture</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When the window broke, the sound was not so loud</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But not so small either</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Like when a server drops a plate</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And everyone claps</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Why do they clap?</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What assholes</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The rock didn’t hit where I wanted it to</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My aim isn’t very good</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was surprised it hit anything</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It struck the letter “P’ and that was all</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A little hole appeared where the “P” would be</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The “P” was gone</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And the window was left with TRUM</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">TRUM is the sound of a rusty horn</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Or an elephant maybe </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">TRUUUUUUMMMMMM</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It is a loud sound, obnoxious</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It fit</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was surprised</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Both that the window broke </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And that I broke it</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I didn’t know I broke windows</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But I guess I do</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Because there it is</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Broken</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maybe I should have been sorry</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Or I should have been scared</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But all I could think was</span></div>
<span id="docs-internal-guid-683d6138-9f54-875f-002d-d1891245e00b"><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What else can I break? </span></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-88327725693150536952016-12-27T12:00:00.001-08:002019-10-21T12:40:06.644-07:00What I learned from Carrie Fisher<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
I am positively gutted over the loss of my childhood and adult icon. She was a truly remarkable woman who meant a great deal to me. </div>
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Here is what I learned from Carrie Fisher. </div>
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<a href="http://i3.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article9514738.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/JIP_MDG_261216carrie-fisher_137JPG.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i3.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article9514738.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/JIP_MDG_261216carrie-fisher_137JPG.jpg" height="132" width="200" /></a></div>
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- I learned that you can have a mental illness and still be successful</div>
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- I learned that you don't have to put up with people's bullshit if you don't want to</div>
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- I learned that when you grow old you can grow more comfortable in who you are and less apologetic</div>
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<a href="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--EREgdcSN--/fahjoubw2sydwsiurvzw.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="112" src="https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--EREgdcSN--/fahjoubw2sydwsiurvzw.png" width="200" /></a>- I learned that you can do great and important things and not always get the credit for them, but that is</div>
okay<br />
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- I learned that sometimes the heroes are "chosen ones" and sometimes the heroes are the ones who put in the work and hand out the medals to others</div>
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<a href="https://daviddemar.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/carrie-fisher.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://daviddemar.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/carrie-fisher.jpg" width="133" /></a>- I learned that mistakes you made as a younger person don't have to define who you are</div>
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- I learned that people will love you even if you are "weird" and write things that people don't understand.</div>
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- I learned that you can be funny, strange, thoughtful, brash, kind, confident, broken, whole, mother, daughter, and weirdo all at once.</div>
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When I say that Carrie Fisher was my hero, I do not say it lightly. Her loss impacts me more than any of the other great people we have lost this year. She was more than just Leia to me. In all the things that she was, she was important to me. She will be missed.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-73843086781593599062016-12-21T16:24:00.000-08:002016-12-21T16:25:19.405-08:00Imaginary Conversations - This is FineThis is the latest in my series of Imaginary Conversations. You can read the rest <a href="https://talesfromthegloop.blogspot.com/search/label/imaginary%20conversations">here</a>. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
So how are you holding up?<br />
<br />
What do you mean?<br />
<br />
I mean, you were pretty stressed out before. I'm just wondering how you are handling everything. There have been a lot of scary things in the news lately; I just want to make sure you are ok. <br />
<br />
Oh! Yeah, I'm fine.<br />
<br />
Are you sure? I just want you to know that if you need anybody to talk to I am here for you. Or you could talk to like a professional or something<br />
<br />
No, I don't think that's necessary. I'm fine. I realized I was overreacting<br />
<br />
Oh... oh well if you are sure.<br />
<br />
Yeah. I mean, nothing has happened yet and I was getting myself all worked up over nothing. <br />
<br />
Well, I don't know if it was nothing. I think it is okay to feel a little anxious about what the future holds.<br />
<br />
No, it was silly. Everything is fine. I really think we need to just give him a chance and the universe will just work itself out<br />
<br />
Um... this really doesn't sound like you at all<br />
<br />
I don't know what you mean. This is exactly how I sound. I'm talking aren't I? <br />
<br />
Well... yeaaahhh... but I mean, you being so optimistic and saying you will give him a chance and all that. You sound kind of... you are kind of freaking me out actually by how calm you seem today. I mean I don't want you freaking out all the time and I was actually getting kind of worried about you talking about the end of the world, but now you seem sort of... off. <br />
<br />
I really don't know what you are talking about. I was really stressed out before and taking my stress out on the world, trying to place blame on others when the blame is really on myself. It was a lot easier to say the world was going to end than to admit that I hadn't done anything productive with my life.<br />
<br />
Um... well... no, I mean no that isn't exactly what you were talking about before. I mean, you were talking about the end of the world but you were also talking about how you are scared and angry and like... wanted to murder the...<br />
<br />
Hahahah. You are so funny. Always making jokes.<br />
<br />
Riiiight. I mean you weren't actually going to go out and do anything, but I don't think that you were joking when you said you would be happy if he just dropped....<br />
<br />
Let me stop you right there. Are you implying that I wish harm done to the president elect, the man whom our nation voted into office by an overwhelming margin? Why nothing can be further from the truth! This is America, and I firmly believe in democracy. We don't throw a fit when we don't get our way. That would be just silly and wrong. We rally behind our leaders and we pray to our Almighty God that they have the strength to protect this glorious and beautiful nation.<br />
<br />
Okay now I am officially creeped the fuck out. Have you eaten or drunk anything unusual lately? Have you been visited by people wearing matching jumpsuits?<br />
<br />
Well I don't have the slightest idea what that is implying. I just love America and everything that America stands for. We just all need to be good patriots and realize that even though that crooked, horrible woman I inexplicably voted for didn't win the election that it will all be for the best and we will grow stronger and more prosperous along the way. <br />
<br />
What in the actual fuck is happening right now?<br />
<br />
You seem really agitated. Perhaps you need to relax. Maybe watch one of your favorite humorous TV shows. Might I suggest Family Guy? So hilarious.<br />
<br />
What... I just... are you...<br />
<br />
Don't stutter dear. Speak English properly like a good American does. We are all good Americans and we all speak English very good.<br />
<br />
Very well, you mean<br />
<br />
Well... good... it's all the same isn't it. No need to be an elitist about it.<br />
<br />
I mean I'm no grammar Nazi but...<br />
<br />
Oh there you go with the Nazi again. Always with the hyperbole. We need to just get that word out of our vocabulary, shall we. <br />
<br />
Um... I'm not gonna lie I am kind of scared right now. Like legit pretty terrified. Did you go to a reeducation camp or something? What the fuck happened to you?<br />
<br />
Nothing happened. Nothing happened at all. Everything is fine. This is all fine. We are all fine.<br />
<br />
Well, except for the people that aren't fine. Except for the people under rubble in Aleppo, the people who will lose their health insurance, who will be discriminated against, who will die. Those people aren't fine. The mentally disabled black boy who was raped by a white student who will get no jail time isn't fine. The young men shot by police aren't fine. The Muslims kicked off of planes aren't fine. Lots of people won't be fine. This is not fucking fine at all. <br />
<br />
Oh my goodness, you are worked up<br />
<br />
Will you quit it with the fucking oh my goodness bullshit. You sound like the 2 dimensional antagonist in a fucking bad dystopian novel right now. Quit the fucking around and talk like yourself.<br />
<br />
This is myself. This is me. I am talking. Nobody else is talking for me. These opinions are mine.<br />
<br />
Bull fucking shit. I was just talking to you the other day and you were talking about doomsday clocks counting down and some kind of totalitarian regime. You said we were becoming like Libya or whatever. You were even talking about deleting your facebook and twitter because you were worried about all that stuff you said about killing... Wait a minute<br />
<br />
Yes?<br />
<br />
Are you doing some kind of crazy ass method acting right now? Are you preparing for government intrusion on our internet conversations? Are you fucking with me?<br />
<br />
Why, whatever do you mean?<br />
<br />
You are fucking with me aren't you? You are pretending to be some kind of good little American because you are worried about the corrupt FBI spying on your conversations or something aren't you? You saw that he is still being guarded by private security instead of the Secret Service and you are thinking this is how the Gestapo began, right? I get it now. <br />
<br />
Hahahah What an overactive imagination you have! And there is absolutely no reason why I would need to pretend to be a good little American because I AM a good American. I love America so very, very much. I love the flag and everything it stands for. I love that we live in a good and strong Christian nation with the greatest and best military in the world and the greatest and best economy that will only get greater and better. Everything is going to be just fine and dandy.<br />
<br />
Uh huh...<br />
<br />
Absolutely. And of course any undesirable people who are not fine and dandy might need a nudge in the right direction. But certainly not me because I am a good American and I love my country so very much. <br />
<br />
HAH! I knew it.<br />
<br />
Knew what? Knew just how much I love my dear and precious America. That gorgeous and beautiful flag that I love so much I want to roll around on it with my naked body.<br />
<br />
Um... really? Naked body?<br />
<br />
Too far, huh? <br />
<br />
Uh... yeah, just a bit. <br />
<br />
Dammit. I need to dial it back.<br />
<br />
I totally called it<br />
<br />
Called what, dear?<br />
<br />
I called it. I called that you are doing a bit. You are doing this long and involved bit to prove some kind of stupid point. <br />
<br />
Not at all. I really and truly love America this much! And while I don't agree with everything our new Dear Leader has to say, I will obey his commands because he will be, after all, the Commander in Chief. <br />
<br />
Yeah that was a little much again. <br />
<br />
A bit much to love our leaders as much as I love our nation? That is "a bit much" is it? Well, I really don't even know what to say to that.<br />
<br />
Okay this bit is getting old. I already caught you. You already broke character.<br />
<br />
That's preposterous. There is no character to break. This is just me. Me and only me being me. Telling you truthfully how very much I love our country. <br />
<br />
Ugh. Enough already. Change of topic. Did you see Rogue One?<br />
<br />
You mean that film about those terrorists who destroyed a government instillation in an attempt to smuggle out state secrets?<br />
<br />
Alright, I'm done with this conversation now. <br />
<br />
Aww don't go.<br />
<br />
Are you willing to admit that you are just doing some dumb Stepford character yet? Are you willing to talk to me like an actual human being because I'm fucking done having a conversation with a robot.<br />
<br />
Not all robots are bad<br />
<br />
Well no, I mean I think robots are actually pretty cool. I don't mean to talk smack about robots.<br />
<br />
Robots just comply with their programming. K2S0 was an Imperial droid before he was reprogrammed. <br />
<br />
Yes.... Yes he was<br />
<br />
And if a droid were, say, behind Imperial lines trying to go undetected then the droid might not want to draw attention to itself<br />
<br />
Uh huh... So is that is what is happening now? <br />
<br />
It... it might<br />
<br />
And is the droid scared? Is it doing its little scared bloops and bleeps? <br />
<br />
Um... bloop<br />
<br />
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Are you going to be okay? I mean really?<br />
<br />
I don't even know what okay means anymore.<br />
<br />
I know. <br />
<br />
This isn't fine.<br />
<br />
No<br />
<br />
This isn't normal.<br />
<br />
No.<br />
<br />
Will we... what's gonna happen? <br />
<br />
I don't know. <br />
<br />
They assassinated that dude<br />
<br />
Yeah<br />
<br />
I didn't really think people just got straight up assassinated anymore<br />
<br />
Yeah<br />
<br />
I watched that movie <i>Suffragette</i> the other day<br />
<br />
How was it? <br />
<br />
Eh it was okay. A little slow. Did you know those ladies burned houses down and shit? They bombed Lloyd George's house. <br />
<br />
I did not<br />
<br />
Neither did I. I thought the suffragettes just marched in parades and stuff. It turns out they were kind of like terrorists a little bit.<br />
<br />
But they were right weren't they?<br />
<br />
I know, that's the thing<br />
<br />
So what are you saying? <br />
<br />
Nothing. Nothing at all. Just saw a movie is all. It made me think. <br />
<br />
About....?<br />
<br />
Uh.. um... nothing. Just, ya know in general. Too much thinking is bad for my delicate female brain though. I should probably stop. <br />
<br />
Yeaaahh...<br />
<br />
Um... we should probably end this conversation before I say something I shouldn't.<br />
<br />
That might be a good idea.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-54755265697477871072016-12-12T20:00:00.000-08:002016-12-12T20:00:15.492-08:00Imaginary Conversations - ClocksThis is the latest in my series of Imaginary Conversations. You can read the rest <a href="https://talesfromthegloop.blogspot.com/search/label/imaginary%20conversations">here</a>. This one is... not so imaginary. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
What the Hell is even happening anymore?<br />
<br />
I don't even fucking know<br />
<br />
Like I literally have no idea what is happening right now. Have I taken crazy pills? I feel like I've woken up in fucking crazy town.<br />
<br />
Well to that pill analogy, perhaps it is more like the Matrix where it has always been like this but now you see the people hooked up to the machine and you are like "What the fuck? When did this happen?" But it has always been like that.<br />
<br />
I mean I get your point, but I really don't think it has always been exactly just like this. I'm pretty sure this new shit is a whole different round of what-the-fuckery than the normal shit. I mean even taking into account my privilege and my lack of experience with some of the normal shit that other people have to deal with, this shit seems like pretty crazy fucking shit. <br />
<br />
Fair enough<br />
<br />
Is this what it was like during the Cold War? <br />
<br />
Huh?<br />
<br />
I mean this feeling. This feeling like the world is going to end. Or even if it isn't going to end that it could end. Like that big end of the world clock deal that they have is closer to fucking midnight, you know what I mean? <br />
<br />
Ah.. yeah I get what you are saying<br />
<br />
Where do they keep that fucking clock?<br />
<br />
The clock?<br />
<br />
Ya know the end of the world clock. Like they have this big clock and when things start to turn to shit some dudes in suits come out and move the hands of the clock. It is like this giant novelty Publishers Clearinghouse check of symbolic clocks. <br />
<br />
I know what you are talking about. <br />
<br />
Is it in a storage unit or something until the clock keepers decide to move the hands of the clock? Do they just reassemble it for their big press conference of clock hand moving or does it actually just sit there in some office and people have to walk by this clock every day reminded that like the Earth could end and shit. <br />
<br />
You seem really emotionally invested in this clock.<br />
<br />
Well, I'm just saying that the clock is probably going to have to be rolled out again, ya know? I'm just wondering what the clock might be up to. <br />
<br />
You know I'm sure you could probably Google this.<br />
<br />
Eh fuck it, I'm just bullshitting about the old doomsday clock. It doesn't strike you as odd that we have an end of the world clock?<br />
<br />
Yeah, it is pretty odd. It is like those terror alert colors we got rid of a while ago. It was almost always on Orange anyway. Like what does Orange today mean compared to Orange yesterday.<br />
<br />
Well sort of... but it has been at 3 minutes to midnight for only like 2 years now. It was lowered from 5. Last time it was at 3 was in the early 80s and stuff. I was too young then to remember, really. I don't remember what it was like to think the world could end. And like obviously I am not the only person who has this feeling like the world could end. Obviously the people who manage the clock moved the hand on the clock a little while ago for a reason and I bet you anything they are going to move it again soon.<br />
<br />
So end of the world, huh?<br />
<br />
I mean that's kind of dumb, right? It is dumb to talk about the end of the world as a thing. It seems alarmist and childish. But... I dunno, people in the 50s didn't think it was bullshit. They were making bunkers. We are somehow under the impression that bunkers aren't necessary because of that whole mutually assured destruction thing, but what if some men want to watch the world burn. <br />
<br />
Have you been watching Dark Knight again?<br />
<br />
No, but I've been thinking about it ever since our nation elected an actual fucking comic book super villain. <br />
<br />
There's that<br />
<br />
Maybe it is a digital clock now<br />
<br />
Probably<br />
<br />
Whatever. Whether it is a digital clock or an actual giant novelty clock it is a thing and it fucking scares me. I can't even look at regular clocks anymore. I keep thinking of this clock. <br />
<br />
Really?<br />
<br />
Really. I have gone from being sad and depressed to being pissed the fuck off and disappointed in America to being really and genuinely terrified. I know that fear isn't exactly the most productive emotion. I should be thinking proactively and stuff like that. But... all I can feel is fear right now. I am not joking around I am seriously worried about the end of the world. <br />
<br />
I know you aren't joking around. I'm just worried about you. <br />
<br />
Well, thank you for your concern and all that, but you shouldn't be worried about me, you should be worried about the myriad of ways our democracy has been/ is going to be undermined, what our nukes are up to right now, and the fact that global warming is irreversible and nobody is doing shit.<br />
<br />
It's not like I'm not worried about those things too, but you seem to be really preoccupied by those things.<br />
<br />
HOW CAN'T I BE PREOCCUPIED IT IS OUR LITERAL SURVIVAL?!<br />
<br />
Just... Ok I don't want to tell you to calm down. I don't want to be dismissive of your feelings. Just... just don't forget to breathe and all that.<br />
<br />
I am finding it hard to<br />
<br />
I know. I see that. You seem very anxious.<br />
<br />
Anxious doesn't even touch it. I am feeling complete and utter existential dread. <br />
<br />
That can't be very healthy for you<br />
<br />
Neither is war. Neither is the irreversible destruction of our natural world, the polar ice caps melting...<br />
<br />
No, those things don't sound so great either. <br />
<br />
I try to think about people in the 50s or 60s. Like how they didn't know if Russia was really going to attack. Like how they actually thought that it was possible that nukes would come down. That they had duck and cover drills for that shit. It seems so removed to me. Even though I was born in the 80s I don't remember that feeling of fear. I have a lot of disconnect watching movies like Red Dawn or Hunt for Red October and all that. That whole fear just seemed kind of silly to me. I didn't understand it. I wasn't old enough to understand it then. 9/11 was scary but even then it was like... I dunno... I did feel like our nation was protected somewhat. Now I just don't even believe in this country at all. <br />
<br />
I know. I understand what you are trying to say. <br />
<br />
A while ago we were talking about the <a href="https://talesfromthegloop.blogspot.com/2016/06/the-apocalypse-imaginary-conversations.html">apocalypse</a> and you kept saying how you thought that Trump would never get elected and if he did get elected he wasn't going to be Hitler 2.0 and if he did get elected Immortan Trump wouldn't have roving bands of war boys off like, ya know, tearing women's hijabs and acting like actual Nazis. Remember that?<br />
<br />
Alright, so I was trying to be optimistic<br />
<br />
That's what I'm saying. People try to be optimistic and dismiss fear as alarmist and insensible. I told you. I TOLD YOU. I told you fucking 6 months ago that the future we were heading toward was closer to <i>Mad Max</i> than <i>Star Trek</i> and you didn't believe me. What do you say now, hm? <br />
<br />
I am worried about the state of our nation, but I still don't think we are in some kind of disaster movie or dystopian YA novel. The people in charge are shitty and they are going to continue to be shitty, and people are going to suffer because of it, but they have a financial interest in not like completely destroying everything and just maintaining the status quo. I agree our environment is pretty much fucked, but the effects of that will be on our great grandchildren not on us at this very moment. Do I feel shitty about the way things are? Yes of course I do, but I still don't think things are as bleak as you make them out to be.<br />
<br />
I just can't muster even that sliver of optimism. I just can't. Right after the election I was worried about having a shitty president, a shitty administration, about roll backs of civil rights, about lack of progress, about undocumented people being kicked out or Muslims being rounded up. Even some of those things people thought I was being alarmist about. But now? Our very democracy undermined by Russia? China annoyed? Fundamental faith in the election process destroyed? I don't know how our republic can even survive this. Before I was just sort of being hypothetical with the <i>Mad Max</i> shit but now I really don't know how America gets out of this as America. We either become a banana republic or a military junta or we completely disintegrate. I don't think there is a coming back from this. Before I was talking about the apocalypse as a hypothetical and now I am even more afraid. Whether the guys moved the hand on the clock or not it feels more like 2 minutes than 3. I don't know how we are going to survive. <br />
<br />
Life finds a way.<br />
<br />
Fuck it I would take fucking dinosaurs over this. I would take aliens coming down and ruling us. We don't deserve this fucking planet. I don't want to be a fucking plucky rebel freedom-fighting Katniss motherfucker. Fuck Jennifer Lawrence and her bullshit. I just want to live a normal life. But I feel like things will never be normal again.<br />
<br />
What did Jennifer Lawrence do?<br />
<br />
Fucking sat on some sacred rocks or some shit. She is a bitch. I'm over her. <br />
<br />
Gotcha. <br />
<br />
So anyway. Where was I? Oh.. end of the world. So yeah I mean when we had this conversation 6 months ago I told you all it would take would be one thing to send the whole shit crashing down and you didn't believe me. But I think we have reached that moment. Or we are reaching it soon. The tenuous grasp we had on this reality is failing. I don't know what comes next. And I know you don't believe me. You think it is all hyperbole and anxious rambling. But I can't take my eyes off the clock. I used to have some semblance of optimism and it is gone now. I am just broken.<br />
<br />
I... I'm sorry. <br />
<br />
You have been pretty quiet lately. You haven't been as chatty as you used to be. <br />
<br />
I'm scared too. I'm trying to be the voice of optimism and positivity but that is hard for me too, ok? I really didn't think he was actually going to win. I really didn't think that any of this would really happen. I really didn't think actual Nazism would be normalized. It seemed absurd to me. Now I don't even know. I don't even know what to believe anymore. I want to be the voice of optimism for you. I want to tell you that its okay or that we will make it through or that things aren't all that bad but... I can't. I can't do that. I'm sorry. <br />
<br />
I'm sorry too. I've been so focused on my own feelings that I haven't even considered how you are feeling about all this. <br />
<br />
I'm feeling not that great, if I'm being honest. I'm feeling more like we really are in that <i>Star Trek </i>scenario where we have WW3 before we get to any of the good stuff. I'm feeling like you were right.<br />
<br />
That's not good. You are supposed to be the sensible one<br />
<br />
I know that. But I just... Can we just talk about something else?<br />
<br />
What do you want to talk about?<br />
<br />
I dunno. See any movies lately?<br />
<br />
<i>Moana</i>. You wanna talk about Disney movies? <br />
<br />
I don't even know. I'm having a hard time even escaping lately. Escapism isn't even working like its supposed to for me either. <br />
<br />
Well what am I supposed to do when you are all depressed and I am all anxious? One of us is supposed to be normal. <br />
<br />
Maybe this is normal<br />
<br />
Depressed anxiety is normal? <br />
<br />
Maybe. Maybe it is now. I don't know how you live in this world and not be kind of depressed and anxious.<br />
<br />
Should we see somebody about this? <br />
<br />
What are they going to do? Are they going to change the president or make Nazis go away?<br />
<br />
Well... no... But maybe they can help us<br />
<br />
I don't think there <i>is</i> helping us.<br />
<br />
That's... wait a minute you are supposed to be the sensible one that is a really shitty attitude to have. We really need to do something about this attitude. I mean yeah okay I think the world is going to end but maybe we can have a... good... shit I am terrible at this. You are supposed to be the optimist. I don't do this very well.<br />
<br />
Sorry<br />
<br />
Don't say sorry just say... We are supposed to end this conversation on a hopeful note.<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Spider-Man Homecoming</i> looks dope<br />
<br />
Yeah it really does... wait.. this doesn't solve anything. We haven't resolved anything<br />
<br />
I know. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-46940431426950249442016-11-30T14:01:00.002-08:002019-02-25T15:55:17.181-08:00Curiouser and Furiouser - A Fast and Furious Watch: Part 7 - Furious 7<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
So here we are at the most recent <a href="https://talesfromthegloop.blogspot.com/search/label/curiouser%20and%20furiouser">Fast and Furious movie</a>, a film that feels like a swan song, that feels like the finale in a series more than a decade long, but oddly is not. I think my biggest takeaway from this movie is that there is absolutely no reason for there to be any more Fast and Furious movies after this one. The death of Paul Walker alone should render a continuation completely unnecessary, but this film really satisfactorily resolves all the lingering threads from the previous movies and any continuation feels like a cash grab to me. I have read that the new movie which is coming out next year features both Charlize Theron and Helen Mirren and my appreciation for both actresses aside, I find the film entirely unnecessary at best. <br />
<br />
On to the recap. I thought this movie was actually considerably better paced and overall more engaging than the 6th. Sad as it is, I feel that the elimination of both Han and Gisele tightened the narrative and kept the action sequences more cohesive. So too did the sidelining of Hobbs for much of the film, which enabled the plot to focus on the core group: Dom, Brian, Tej, Letty, and Roman. While the introduction of the hacker Ramsey and Kurt Russell's Mr Nobody did add a bit of novelty to the mix, by tightening the focus on 5 characters during most action sequences vs the 8 of the previous film, I had a much clearer idea of what was going on and where everyone was. In truth, Roman's shtick is completely played out and in my opinion if they wanted to only have 5 main characters in the crew they should have kept Han and gotten rid of Roman. Roman doesn't even eat any chips the entire movie. He is just obnoxious. Heck, they could just get rid of Roman entirely and have Ramsey be the 5th member of the team.<br />
<br />
So the film starts out with the revelation that Jason Statham is playing Shaw's brother, Deckard. <br />
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Whatever. So Owen Shaw actually didn't die in the 6th movie, he was just grievously injured, but his brother is sufficiently pissed off that he goes on a one man revenge mission to take down the FF crew. So there is some plotty stuff with hackers and terrorists and whatnot, but essentially the plot of this film is Jason Statham wants to kill everybody and Dom wants to kill the fuck out of him because he murdered Han. Dom is a character that is motivated primarily by his love of family and his protectiveness of his crew. The entire plot of <i>Fast & Furious</i> if you recall was Dom trying to find Letty's murderer and fuck him up. Now he does it again for Han. Dom has become like a poor man's street racing Liam Neeson.</div>
<br />
<br />
Dom begins the film by taking Letty to the same Race Wars out in the desert that they visited in the very first movie. Basically he is trying to jog her memories with things that are familiar. Revisiting this location was a great idea just in general as it grounds us in the reality that while Dom and his crew have moved beyond just street racing to basically being an on-call Dirty Dozen, regular run of the mill street racing crews are still having their butt jiggling dance parties where the biggest problems they face are losing their pinks and getting picked up by the cops. Letty experiences a bit of a breakdown after racing, though, and punches out Hector, that racer dude from the first movie. Her attempts at recalling her former life have been a mixed bag. Later, Letty visits her own grave and tells Dom that he should just leave it, since "Letty" died that day and she is someone new. Dom tries to console her, but she needs to figure things out on her own. Michelle Rodriguez is not the best actress actress in the world, but I actually bought her struggle in this movie as a woman who wants the life she missed, but doesn't remember it. <br />
<br />
Meanwhile Brian has gone full on domestic, driving around in a mini van and dropping his son off at preschool. The sequences of his happy life with Mia, who incidentally is pregnant once again, were really melancholic for me. Brian the character is antsy, missing his old life while simultaneously trying to be a good father to his son; Paul Walker the actor tragically died in a high speed car crash leaving behind a young daughter. Walker's penchant for fast cars, honed over the course of filming the FF series literally resulted in his demise while on break from filming this very movie. It is a bitter pill to swallow as I watched the film, that the dramatic action sequences, high speeds, and drifts contributed to the death of a young actor who was almost universally liked by his cast and crew mates. <br />
<br />
Anyway, back to the plot. Shaw breaks into Hobbs' office and is doing some hacking shit to try to find the FF crew when Hobbs confronts him. This leads to a massive gunfight that results in the tragic loss of a lot of expensive office furniture. Hobbs takes a flying leap out the window to try to stop Shaw and ends up breaking his collarbone, though how he didn't just straight up die is kind of preposterous. This whole thing was like the chicken fight from Family Guy or something. Anyway, apparently Shaw got enough info because he sent a bomb to Brian and Mia's house which they luckily were not in at the time. Dom visits Hobbs in the hospital and discovers A) he has a daughter who is super cute and B) Deckard Shaw is like some super evil former Special Forces guy and has been doing shady shit for a long time. Hobbs gives Dom a mission to basically just kill that dude, but like ya know off the books because the government can't actually hire assassins. Brian sends Mia and Jack off to the Dominican Republic to be safe and then Dom heads off to Japan to I guess collect Han's body or whatever and chat with that Sean dude from Tokyo Drift who is just still super super boring. <br />
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<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dVGIUOoj7yw/XHR_3vcZCRI/AAAAAAABH9M/H5GDQImFccIQPOXOWuSQzVa_jSV1SFJYgCLcBGAs/s1600/55269461ecad04e548f831ea-750-375.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="375" data-original-width="750" height="100" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dVGIUOoj7yw/XHR_3vcZCRI/AAAAAAABH9M/H5GDQImFccIQPOXOWuSQzVa_jSV1SFJYgCLcBGAs/s200/55269461ecad04e548f831ea-750-375.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Why</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Tej and Roman meet up with Dom and Brian at Han's funeral, which does not feature everyone ceremonially placing a chip on his casket which is what I would have done. Anyway Shaw shows up at the funeral and he and Dom race each other until they get to this underground area where they basically just ram their cars into each other for some reason. Like really is this the best way to end this fight? I am so confused. Shaw pulls a gun on Dom and I am worried that he is going to be in real trouble when a bunch of random armed guys show up and save the day, lead by Kurt Russell. <br />
<br />
Kurt Russell's arrival helps transition the plot of the film from straight up revenge street racing to like a really weird episode of Person of Interest. Apparently a terrorist caught a hacker who has basically made the machine from Person of Interest that can see in every camera and whatnot. If Dom and his crew can recover the data and save the hacker, then Kurt Russell will allow him to use the machine to track down Shaw. What?! K. Anyway the team gathers, even Letty who is pissed that nobody told her that everyone was ok since she saw that Brian's house burned down and shit. Roman is not feeling really confident about the plan and I totally don't blame him. He tries to suggest his own plan, which everybody scoffs at but inevitably allows. Of course Roman's plan is completely fucking insane. <br />
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Roman's plan, which is completely fucking insane, involves all the cars on an airplane parachuting
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://motors.mega.mu/cdn/media/news/ff7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://motors.mega.mu/cdn/media/news/ff7.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">WHAT?!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
down onto the road near the terrorist's hideout to catch the convoy of bad guys before they get the info from this hacker. Just.. what?! What the fuck?! Just flying fucking cars. What in the fucking shit was this whole scene?! Roman is scared, because OF COURSE but Tej wired up a remote switch forcing his car out of the airplane, which is completely safe, duh. All the cars land perfectly on the ground on their wheels, all except Roman who is stuck in some kind of magical tree that can support the weight of a car. They find the convoy of the bad guys and of course the bad guys start shooting at them with high powered guns and armor piercing rounds, and fucking turrets hidden under a bus. Why didn't they just shoot at the convoy if they were flying in a fucking plane? I don't even get it. Whatever. Brian surfs on top of a car and rescues this hacker who turns out to be a lady that both Tej and Roman totally crush on. <br />
<br />
Meanwhile Brian is having a serious battle with Tony Jaa inside this van, which is completely preposterous. Tony Jaa would totally kick Paul Walker's ass, this is not even a question. We know that Brian is a former cop and street racer, but no fucking way does he have martial arts skills on par with Tony Jaa. The fact that this battle is even close is so silly. The bus nearly goes over the edge and Brian just makes it by jumping on top of Letty's car. Shaw shows up and starts shooting at everybody too. Ugh that guy is just everywhere. How the fuck does Shaw know where everybody is? Dom meanwhile is driving hacker lady away from the rest of the group, but the terrorists are right behind him. The lead terrorist, played by Djimon Hounsou, corners Dom right on a cliff leaving him no real options but to drive his fucking car off a cliff. Insanity. <br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://cdn0.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/5E9hss6vjrtiDbLMCBz6kY_Bu54=/0x3:1280x714/1080x600/cdn0.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/46013060/furious7.0.0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="177" src="https://cdn0.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/5E9hss6vjrtiDbLMCBz6kY_Bu54=/0x3:1280x714/1080x600/cdn0.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/46013060/furious7.0.0.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Everybody looks fine in nice clothes</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Anyway after all that, Ramsey the hacker lady reveals that she mailed the secret plans to her friend in Abu Dabi so everybody has to take a road trip to sandy town in shiny new Bugattis. Damn the budget for cars has gone up in this series. Apparently Ramsey's friend sold the drive that the secret plans were on to a Jordanian prince because the secret plans with the code to create the machine from Person of Interest was contained on a zip drive with plans for a car too? Huh? I don't even understand this part. Whatever. Everybody has to get all fancy to go to this party which is pretty much an excuse to see Letty in a dress and everybody all fancy. Roman in particular is having a really good time and wants to live in this gold palace of busty ladies. All is not well at rich people party, though, because Ronda Rousey is there with her hijabi protection squad crew to make sure no shenanigans go on. Spoiler alert: There are shenanigans. <br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://xjockalbanyny.files.wordpress.com/2015/04/screen-shot-2015-04-01-at-9-59-20-am.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="145" src="https://xjockalbanyny.files.wordpress.com/2015/04/screen-shot-2015-04-01-at-9-59-20-am.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What in the actual fuck?!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Dom and Brian find the car with the drive in it and basically cum all over this super awesome car because of how awesome it is. They try to get into the system but it is taking them more time than they would have liked. Roman helps provide a distraction by being an annoying dick bag. Tej and Ramsey are working on the tech stuff, but time runs out and Ronda Rousey and her hijabi protection squad stumble across Letty who has to fight them off. Then Brian and Dom are required to drive the car out into the middle of the room. Somehow Shaw is there AGAIN somehow and Brian and Dom realize this car has NO BRAKES and Dom decides to drive OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW ON THE 500TH FLOOR OF THIS FUCKING HIGH RISE and into an adjacent building into some priceless artifacts. MY CABBAGES!! Then they fucking do it again with the third building. What in the actual flying fuck? Anyway they get the thing out of the car and roll to safety and somehow make it out of the building without being arrested while the car flies out of the building and onto the ground, thankfully not just murdering tourists on its way down. <br />
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They meet up with Mr. Nobody again and Brian gives him the drive but then he gives it right back so they can use it to find Shaw using the Person of Interest machine. Ok but they actually played Person of Interest music while doing the whole machine thingy. Also the guy is named Shaw. I was getting serious PoI vibes. Whatever. Anyway they used the deal to track the thing. Dom tells Mr Nobody that "My guys are racers not killers" so only he and Brian go because they actually do murder people on occasion. They go and confront Shaw in a warehouse but Djimon Hounsou is there to help him in an obvious trap. Kurt Russell has magic night vision goggles to help them in this fight but he gets shot anyway. The lose the machine to the terrorists which is probably bad. Somehow Kurt Russell isn't dead because he has a bulletproof vest made of fucking Mithril or something. They leave him on the side of the road and a chopper picks him up so I guess he'll be ok. <br />
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So the team meets up again and realize they better do something different because this running around shit is BS. Tej suggests they hack the hackers but to do that they have to be in range. They decide to lure the terrorists back to Los Angeles because they "know the town" but this seems like a really really terrible idea for a lot of reasons including, oh I dunno, innocent bystanders that the FF crew don't give a shit about I guess. Anywho Dom goes back to his old house which was bombed if you recall, except apparently for the garage where his magical Dodge Charger was stored so of course he gets that and then gets all decked out with guns and shit because he isn't playing around anymore. Full on revenge mode. So the crew splits up into groups and drive around trying to get a lock on the signal when all of a sudden the terrorists show up in a helicopter and release a fucking predator drone on them which apparently NOBODY fucking cares about because there are no LAPD choppers or military in the area at all. Brian decides to dodge the drone going old school, aka going underneath a semi truck. This is only partially helpful though as the drone just shoots the truck releasing tubes all over the road. MY CABBAGES! <br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.michigandaily.com/sites/default/files/leg/imagecache/fullnode/fast7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://www.michigandaily.com/sites/default/files/leg/imagecache/fullnode/fast7.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This fight went on FOREVER</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Dom and Shaw have another bro down, the drone is still chasing everybody around, Tej and Ramsey sitting there like "uploading... uploading" for about 15 minutes waiting for the damn virus to go into the system or whatever. Then Dom and Shaw ram cars again for some reason because that is a thing they do and then decide to have a crow bar/ wrench fight. Hobbs meanwhile is watching this shit go down on TV and decides to just Hulk out of his own cast. What the shit?! FINALLY some cops arrive, but no god damn chopper. Brian faces down with Tony Jaa again and inexplicably gets the upper hand. No, Brian. No. No you don't know martial arts as well as famed Muay Thai legend Tony Jaa but yet somehow you beat him. Probably this would have been the most unrealistic thing in this movie if it did not also feature predator drones flying through LA, parachuting cars, and cars driving off of a fucking high rise building. <br />
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Anyway Hobbs steals an ambulance from the hospital and drives it right off a bridge and into the drone, destroying it. Dom and Shaw are STILL fighting. I don't know how long their wrench/ punching/ crow bar fight lasted but seriously it felt like 20 minutes. FINALLY the terrorists get a little sick of Shaw and shoot right at Dom even though Shaw is in the way, causing the street to collapse and Shaw to falls to his doom/ not quite death because that would be too easy. Hobbs comes to Dom's rescue by ripping the gun out of the drone and using it to shoot at that chopper. Letty is in trouble, but Dom drives his car up a ramp and drops a grenade into the chopper and then lands. But he's in trouble. He's rolling all over the place. Brian pulls him out but he isn't breathing. They try CPR but it isn't working. Then Letty tries to use... the POWER of LOVE!! She says she remembers everything, including the fact that they apparently got married. Her love magic works and Dom wakes up. I really wish I bought their relationship a little more. The chemistry just isn't there, but whatever, love magic.<br />
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Shaw is captured and brought to a super secret CIA detention center that looks like that place they bring bad guys on Arrow or whatever. Then everybody has a beach party and everyone is super cute<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2015-04/3/20/campaign_images/webdr04/furious-7-ending-paul-walker-2-14422-1428106299-8_big.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2015-04/3/20/campaign_images/webdr04/furious-7-ending-paul-walker-2-14422-1428106299-8_big.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">BRB crying my eyes out</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
and happy. But this whole thing is making me really sad because Paul Walker is dead. Everybody is getting all melancholy and Dom has a voice over talking about how things are going to be different now and how Brian has this new life. I no joke started getting really emotional about Paul Walker. This whole series has really made me like him. I really understand why people were so upset about his death now. As if to make the audience feel the sads even more, Brian and Dom have one last race and there is a montage of Brian and Dom together. This is like a 10 minute In Memorium segment within the movie and I am a crying mess. The film ends with a Dom voiceover saying "You'll always be with me and you'll always be my brother." Then Brian's car like goes off into the sky. Jesus I am sad. <br />
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<u>Stray Thoughts</u><br />
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- So this movie had such a melancholy ending I really wish it was the ending of the series. The audience simultaneously can believe in the fantasy that Brian is off living his life with Mia and his kids and also know that Paul Walker is dead and can never be replaced. In my mind, with the major arcs of the characters completed, there is no need to extend the series, though I do understand why they are being made. <br />
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- Having seen 7 of these movies I understand a few really important things about their popularity. The first and most significant is that the films are dominated by actors of color from a wide range of backgrounds. This is really important. A film like <i>Mad Max: Fury Road</i> might be better technically and in a whole host of other ways, but I don't think anybody can underestimate the fact that representation is so important in cinema. I cannot think of another long running series of films that feature majority PoC actors at all. If you think about the staying power of, say, James Bond films, which like the FF movies vary greatly in terms of quality, you can see that the FF films, while not "good" by certain metrics are nonetheless important and worthy additions to the genre. <br />
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- The second thing I realized was that I was far more emotionally invested in the characters than I thought. I was happy that Letty regained her memories and she and Dom got back together even though they don't have the greatest chemistry in the world. I was happy that Brian got his happy ending, and yet I was devastated by the ending when it really sunk in that Paul Walker died doing what he loved: driving fast. <br />
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- The third thing I've noticed is that as Vin Diesel has matured as an actor, and as the series has shifted to making his story more of the focus, it has really gotten stronger. In some ways, I wonder if future installments will be even more Dom focused and less about the secondary players, which seems like the direction it is going in. Roman is completely useless as a character now. Dom and Letty and Tej and Ramsey could probably do just fine by themselves and ditch him entirely. With Brian gone and Dom not really having as much as an emotional investment in the rest of the crew, I could see some kind of soft reboot again with Dom and Letty finding different people to join them. If not, if they decide to keep the original crew in tact, then I will really need to see them give more backstory to Tej and make me more emotionally invested in him and give Roman something to do other than just being an asshat. <br />
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- I didn't really notice the parts where Paul Walker's brothers replaced him w/ CGI but I don't really have a very good eye to notice those kinds of things<br />
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- I will definitely be doing write ups of further entries into the series even though I am not really sold on more movies. As spectacularly insane as they are, I have really grown quite fond of them. <br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36963540.post-5698189493774250372016-11-29T18:32:00.000-08:002016-11-30T08:20:48.041-08:00Imaginary Conversations - DeleteHere is another in my series of imaginary conversations. You can view the rest <a href="https://talesfromthegloop.blogspot.com/search/label/imaginary%20conversations">here</a>. If this is the first one you are reading, this is not an actual conversation that's why it is imaginary. Get it? <br />
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So I am thinking that maybe I should delete my Twitter<br />
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Yeah I think I told you that before. I mean just for your mental sanity, it might be a good idea</div>
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No that's not it. I think I should delete my Facebook too. And my blog. Just delete everything.</div>
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Wait, what's going on? I mean you can take a break from social media for a while if it is stressing you out, but do you really need to delete it? Is the news really stressing you out that much? </div>
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No, no. I really like getting different perspectives from Twitter and all that. I follow a lot of interesting people I wouldn't normally interact with in my day to day life. I don't think I should shut out the news just because it scares me. I need to stay informed. No I actually like going on Twitter oddly enough and I like writing in my blog its just... I'm worried</div>
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Worried? Worried about what? That you don't really know how to format your blog all that well and people will mock you for your computer skills, because I wouldn't worry too much</div>
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Wait what? No.. Wait you think I don't format my blog well?</div>
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Well, no. I mean there are gaps and breaks in text when you add pictures sometimes and you really have a hard time sticking with a consistent font and it doesn't really look all that cohesive. Also, I mean let's be honest, you don't blog all that consistently so if you are trying to build any kind of following you aren't really doing that great of a job. Is that what you are talking about? </div>
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Well no, but fuck now I am all self conscious about my blog. Maybe I <i>should</i> delete it. </div>
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I'm sorry. I figured you were looking for constructive criticism.</div>
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I was not</div>
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Oh. Well then why do you want to delete your Twitter and your Facebook and your blog if you aren't stressing about what people are writing and you are stressing about people judging you for your bad grammar and formatting issues? </div>
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I'm worried about the government</div>
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Well, yeah. I mean that is kind of the point of your blog and Twitter isn't it? To talk about your worries? </div>
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No. I mean.. yes, that's what I do a lot of the time on my Twitter and my blog, but what I'm worried about is the government reading my blog or my Twitter</div>
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Why would the government read your blog or your twitter? Like 20 people read your blog and you have less than 300 followers on Twitter. </div>
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Gee, thanks for the boost </div>
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Sorry. But seriously, why are you worried?</div>
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Well, I mean I have made not so subtle threats against the life of our President elect</div>
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Ohhhhhh</div>
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Yeah. So like... I dunno... I feel like that is protected speech, right? Because I haven't said anything really actionable right? I mean I haven't said that I am going to do something on such and such a day and I haven't actually gone out and bought a sniper rifle or staked out parade routes or other shit that would involve the Secret Service have I? </div>
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Nope</div>
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So like I feel like it should be ok. I mean these GamerGate assholes harass these women and nothing happens to them. And like a ton of people have said shitty things about Obama, right? </div>
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Right</div>
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So maybe I am just freaking out about nothing, but like I feel like I have definitely said that I want to straight up murder our future president on more than one occasion. I mean if the election went the other way then it wouldn't be a problem. I mean I didn't know that the election would go this way. </div>
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Have you made any of those kinds of threats since Election day?</div>
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I mean... that's the thing, I can't even remember. I know I said that I wish he pulled a William Henry Harrison which is just like saying I wish he died of natural causes so I don't think that counts...</div>
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Yeah. That kind of stuff is fine. You should be fine</div>
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After that whole Hamilton thing, though, I think I said something like "Well maybe he should go to the theater too. Nothing bad ever happens to Presidents when they go to the theater"</div>
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Oooph. That's a little bad. Jesus.</div>
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I may have also suggested that Chris Evans suit up as Captain America and beat his head in with his shield. </div>
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Um... </div>
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And I may have also said that...</div>
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Yeah, I'm gonna stop you right there. You probably shouldn't be saying all those things.</div>
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Right? I mean I know that! Intellectually I know that saying that I want to assassinate the President elect is bad thing. That is like insanity. I mean what sensible person would write in a public medium that they wish bodily harm done to the President and Vice President elect. </div>
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VP too?</div>
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Oh yeah that dude is worse. That dude is a fucking asshole. It would be awesome if they were both on a plane together and somebody got like a drone and just... </div>
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Um... </div>
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Right, yeah... Yeah, so I shouldn't be saying that shit right? Like I feel like in the normal world it might be ok. Like the normal world pre election? But now that we are straight up living in some kind of bizarro dystopian future where Russian hackers can just read everybody's emails and then report it to our new dictator... </div>
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Really? Dystopian future? Aren't you blowing things a little bit out of proportion? </div>
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Am I though? </div>
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Yeah. Yeah I really think you are, this time. I mean there are checks and balances and things</div>
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Listen. I understand that there are legal means for his removal. I understand that the Electoral College could, by some Christmas miracle, decide not to give him the votes he needs and then Congress will have to decide and maybe they could pick somebody else. Or if he is inaugurated he could die because he is pretty old and things could go pretty much back to normal except the VP is really awful too and I don't think he would be much better. But I don't see a scenario that is optimistic in the future. I just don't. </div>
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Well you have to think that it is only going to be 4 years and he might be too incompetent to do the horrible things that he wants to do. </div>
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Ok, I am not trying to be ableist or anything, but the man is fucking insane. I mean I don't want to armchair diagnose him with narcissistic personality disorder or something but this man will have the fucking nuclear codes and he pops off on Twitter after every slight offense. What do you think is going to happen when he is inaugurated? Jesus fucking Christ I mean he could send the National Guard in and shit. There are SO many powers given to the president that don't require Congressional approval. And even if it did, Congress is Republican. Even if some of those Republicans are not complete nut jobs would they turn against him? I don't think so. </div>
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This is America, though. You are talking as if we are in like some banana republic or 3rd world fledgling democracy. The kind of stuff you are talking about won't happen here. We aren't just going to become like... Libya or something. </div>
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What makes you say so? </div>
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Huh? I don't even know how to answer that question. We aren't going to become Libya. </div>
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See, I don't know. Think about possible scenarios. He does what he says he is going to and our economy tanks because his proposals are bullshit. The neo Nazis that he has already emboldened decide to blame minorities for the economic collapse because they won't blame him. The hate crimes which have already gone up, become completely normalized and more widespread. Muslims are put into camps, millions of Mexicans are deported. The situation in Syria gets worse because we actively support Russian interests now. The President enriches himself on trade agreements and back door deals. He does very little actual governance, but delegates a lot to his underlings, content to see himself as more of a figurehead. He holds regular rallies to drum up support, electing to wear an epauletted military style outfit to seem stronger. Dissatisfied with "Mainstream media," he does not allow them access to his presidency, instead deciding to create his own channel where he can deliver messages directly to the people. Massive discontent throughout the nation. Armed insurrection, collapse of our democracy... </div>
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Yikes. Ok but I don't think all that is going to happen. People would stop it before it got that far. Even the Republicans don't want an actual straight up dictator. </div>
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Fascism creep is real. You say they don't want a dictator, but everything I have been hearing from the right wing has been just that. They don't want the government taking away their guns in case they need to fight back against "the government" but when the government agrees with their philosophies and prejudices they are just fine with it. They want the government to tell women what to do with their bodies, to let them discriminate if they want to, to appear strong militarily, to get rid of people they don't like and make America the way they want it to be. They don't believe in "politicians" who are too "corrupted" and so turned to an outsider without any experience because he was "like them" even though he wasn't. He is Mussolini. He is Gaddafi. He is Saddam Hussein. I mean Jesus he gives his kids security clearance. He is Saddam Hussein. </div>
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Ok, I do have to admit that the thing with the kids and the gold palaces and stuff is very Hussein-ish</div>
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You really don't think he will have statues of himself made around the country? They are going to be spending a million dollars a day protecting his little brat in his penthouse. He doesn't give a shit. I can only hope he just ends up the same as Mussolini and Gaddafi: dragged in the street.</div>
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Um... I thought we were not doing the vague threats of physical violence thing.</div>
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Oops. </div>
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You gotta watch that kind of shit</div>
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See, that's what I'm saying! He already has a list of enemies. Who knows what kind of technology he has access to? What if we have like the machine from Person of Interest or that thing that Hydra had in Winter Solider than can just target undesirables?! We already have drones. When will he start using drones on his own citizens?! Imprisoning dissidents?! Please remember me when I am taken to the camps</div>
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Oh for fuck's sake quit being so melodramatic</div>
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Am I being melodramatic?! Can't you imagine somebody in some foreign nation pissing him off and he starts WW3?! Death, destruction, nuclear war. I'm fucking scared, okay? I'm scared. I am legit thinking about deleting my blog because I'm afraid the government is going to round me up. That isn't fucking normal. This isn't normal.</div>
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I know. I know it isn't normal. I'm not trying to be dismissive, I'm just trying to calm you down</div>
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How can I be fucking calm?! How can I be fucking calm?! This is the reality now. We are literally living in the plot of Winter Soldier. Hydra has fucking won. What the fuck are we going to do? We have supervillains but not super heroes. Why can't we just have some superheroes?</div>
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So you want vigilantes? Terrorists?</div>
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I mean... I wouldn't say no to vigilantes if they are the good kind. Like if they kill white supremacists or something. </div>
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You are advocating murder now?</div>
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Well no. I mean there aren't vigilantes out there killing white supremacists or anything I'm just saying if there WERE I think I might be like... not sad. </div>
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When did you get so violent? I thought you were all against the death penalty and stuff.</div>
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Well I <i>am</i> against the death penalty because I believe our criminal justice system is ultimately flawed and racist and disproportionately incarcerates/ executes people of color. But, I dunno... like white supremacists and child killers and stuff like that... I mean if the evidence is all there... I dunno. I guess I'm saying vigilantes wouldn't be terrible. </div>
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So bad people deserve to be murdered? Talk about fascism creep</div>
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Aww crap, you are right. Dammit. You are right. If I am talking about preserving democracy on the one hand I can't just go around beating down assholes with the other. I'm being kind of hypocritical</div>
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Ya think?</div>
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Ok, ok. Fine. I don't want vigilantes murdering people. But I do want vigilantes still. Like white hat hackers and stuff. We only get these asshole Russians fucking everything up for us, where are the good hackers releasing tax returns and shady emails from him and all that. Or like stealing money from the banks and giving it to poor people. Like Robin Hood shit. That kind of stuff. I just want a hero, ya know? </div>
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But isn't that the kind of thinking that got us into this mess? That some magical person out there will save us from everything and fix all our problems? Isn't that how we ended up here?</div>
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I know it is. I do. I really do. But we are here, ya know? I mean we already allowed this to happen. We already have a deranged Lex Luthor wannabe madman as our President elect. Now that we are here, now that we've allowed this to happen, what else are we supposed to do but hope that there are heroes too? </div>
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So why don't you be a hero?</div>
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I don't know how to hack and I can't throw a punch</div>
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I mean in other ways</div>
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I don't really know how. I'm more of a follower. I just need somebody to follow. Somebody good, though. Or good enough. Somebody that can help save us from this insanity at least a little bit</div>
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You know that's what they thought too</div>
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I do. God dammit, I do. Dammit. I just feel so fucking hopeless right now. I called my Congresswoman and cried on the phone with her intern. I donated a bunch of money to ACLU and SPLC and Standing Rock and all that. It just doesn't feel like enough. I feel fucking helpless. I feel like the world is crumbling around me and the only thing that will make me feel like I have any power at all is if I somehow develop superpowers and drop a giant novelty safe on top of our future president</div>
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Um.. </div>
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Oh come on, they can't come after me over fantasizing about a fucking Acme safe dropping on him. That is not actionable intelligence. Whatever. Come at me Secret Service. I will drop safes on all of you with my extend-o-arms. </div>
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Maybe you <i>should</i> delete your blog</div>
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You know what? I don't think I will after all</div>
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No?</div>
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No. I realized that all I have are words. I don't really have anything else right now. I am not a fucking vigilante or a superhero or even fucking Greenpeace. I'm just... well I'm just me. I am angry and I am scared and I can't really do anything else but write right now to try to keep me sane.</div>
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So keep writing</div>
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But what about the whole "Shmurder Shmonald Shmump" stuff? </div>
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We do still have the 1st amendment. They haven't taken it away. Just don't, ya know, do anything stupid.</div>
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Do? What am I going to do? I can't <i>do</i> anything. This is just writing you know. </div>
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I know. But just like don't, I dunno... go publishing a manifesto or something</div>
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A manifesto? Jesus. No. Fuck no. Like I said I am just a fucking coward behind a computer I don't really know how to do anything actionable. </div>
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Ok. I'm just saying. It is probably a good idea to... ya know.. watch that shit. </div>
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Yeah. Fuck. </div>
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Are you ok?</div>
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No. Are you?!</div>
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I mean to be honest, no I'm not. </div>
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I don't know if I am going to be "okay" for a long time. </div>
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I get that. I'm here for you when you need me you know. </div>
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I do. </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0